No-brainer Shoes Script

No-brainer Shoes

Plot: Infomercial. The product is a pair of shoes, but not any pair of shoes. These are No-brainer
Shoes, and they enhance your pituitary gland, elevating your brain capacity in order to confront
any type of problem.
Characters:
● Narrator: serious voice; concentrated on power of the shoes
● Infomercial actors: miserable or struggling
● No-brainer Team: Two No-brainer Shoes workers that enter the scenes explosively to give
people Super Shoes. They are always hiding somewhere waiting for their next victim.
Game:
Super Shoes help you in things that are not related to shoes, but that are mentally challenging.
The actors at first should never have any shoes at all until they get the Super Shoes from the Super
Team. Also, we are not using a specific pair of shoes for the Super Shoes, we are using our own.
The commercial should have a serious, high stakes feel to it.

Sketch:
Scene 1:
(Commercial starts with a clip of track and field from the Olympics with Usain Bolt. Then, camera
begins filming narrator talking in an epic place in an epic way)
Narrator: Are you tired of running away from your problems, from your deepest fears and
nightmares? We have the best product for you.
(No-brainer Team appears, each with different pairs of shoes in their hands)
Narrator: (The astrophysicists acting behind him) The No-brainer Team presents: the No-brainer
Shoes. (Astrophysicists scream “No-brainer!”) Shoes designed by a team of astrophysicists with
the purpose of enhancing your pituitary gland. The No-brainer Shoes use plasma ions to charge
the brain’s magnetic field, and turn you into a superhuman.

Scene 2:
(Starts scene between two friends playing chess, at high stakes. They are playing without a chess
board and pieces, it is all in their heads. There is a crowd around them, everybody is tense. The
players are often looking down or looking at the ceiling to imagine the chess board in their minds.)

Player 1: Pawn to B5.
Player 2: Horsey to C3.
Player 1: Bishop A5, check.
(crowd gasps)
Player 2: (hesitant) King to F1.
Narrator: Chess, what a beautiful game. Until you lose, that is. (Camera turns to narrator) Are
you tired of losing to your super genius friend while playing chess with no board or pieces? Are
you a Beth Harmon wannabe? We have the solution… astro!!!
(Astrophysicists aggressively enter the scene and give Player 1 the No-brainer Shoes)
Player 2: (has their third-eye opened) Queen to G7 checkmate.
(The narrator extends his arms towards the sky, the crowd goes crazy and starts chanting “Nobrainer Shoes!”)
Player 1: Wait, what? It was my turn! That’s not even a checkmate!
Player 2: (Looks at camera) Thank you, No-brainer Shoes! (Astrophysicist gives him money)

Scene 3:
(Scene transitions to someone studying in a room)
Student: (sleepy) Gosh, I really need to finish reviewing this chapter about plasma ions.
Narrator: Life is hard. It’s midnight, you’re frustrated studying for Finals, and you want to take a
break. What do you need?
Student: (In the background) Coffee?
Narrator: No, you need… astro!!!
Team: (pops up) The No-brainer Shoes!
(They put the shoes into the procrastinator’s feet, and the student almost immediately falls asleep)
Student: (asleep) Thank you, No-brainer Shoes!
(The student extends their hand, and a No-Brainer Team member proceeds to give the student cash
for his service)
Astrophysics Team: It’s a no-brainer.

Scene 4:

(A series of quick scenes are shown to demonstrate the Shoes’ effectiveness. Two people are
sitting down on a bench.)
Narrator: Whether it’s for improving your sleep, or solving a Rubik’s cube…

(The Team ambushes person 1 trying to solve Rubik’s cube)
Person 1: (While solving Rubik’s cube) Woahhh my pituitary gland is thriving!

Narrator: Whether it’s for writing comedy sketches with our limited edition “sketchers” (winks)…

(Team ambushes person 2, who’s trying to write a sketch with person 1)
Person 2: Yooo I have an idea! Let’s do a sketch about Animal Farm but with humans!
(Person 1 looks disgusted)

Narrator: Or whether it’s for making an educated guess about other people’s astrology signs…
(The Team ambushes again, but they’re like very tired and out of breath, and then actually realize
that Person 1 already has the No-brainer Shoes on, so they leave)
Person 1: Omg are you a Virgo?
Person 2: Umm no?
Person 1: Get away from me! (runs away)

Team: Our No-brainer Shoes have your back!
Narrator: Just remember, if after using No-brainer Shoes you experience vitamin A deficiency, a
lack of inner peace, an urge to study astrophysics, or plasma illness… (Everybody gets together as
if they were posing for a group picture -maybe each of them acting as if they were feeling these
symptoms-, and the astrophysicists pay the actors again)
Everybody: Don’t sue! (They all throw their shoes to the sky)

End