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THE COLLEGE NEWS

’

Wednesday, March 24, 1954



Editorial

There comes a time in the course of the debate of a con-

troversial subject when it becomes necessary to take a stand.

You cannot straddle a fence for ever. This is no world for
moral cowards! Therefore, we feel, regardless of whether or
not you agree with us and despite the threat of personal
injury to members of the board, that we must express our-
selves on the current controversy that is tearing the campus
into two warring factions. This is of course the question of

keeping pets at college.

Our position is crystal clear. We are for it.
Our reasons are several. First, we believe. they would
prove an academic asset. They offer excellent subjects for

. biological and sociological study. And of course, they are use-

ful in that they uncomplainingly listen to badly pronounced

foreign languages. |

We also do not agree with those who say that the ani-
mals would damage the rooms. On the contrary, by their con-
stant prowling, they would wipe the dust off the furniture
and thus spare the trouble and expense of cleaning the rooms.

In addition, they would-serve a great purpose in receiv-

: ing the affections of the emotionally frustrated members of
this women’s college. Would not the Administration prefer

that we love our four-legged animal friends, and not our two-
legged animal friends in our rooms? In short, our position is:

“Pets, not petting.”

‘We also heartily disagree with those who maintain that |.

if pets were allowed in the rooms and in the classes, the
whole policy of the school would be arranged to meet their
needs: that the classes and subjects would be geared to their
level, that the meals: would be planned solely to give them
their necessary food requirements.

After all, are we men or mice? If we don’t trust our-
selves to run against the competition of the lower verte-
brates, what chance have we in a world of equals?

But enough of words! The time has come for-action!

S. P. C. A’ers, unite!
The victory will be worth the fight!



Letter to the Editor

Enraged Glutz Attacks
_ Inefficacy of Our
Publication
By Marcia Case, ’57
To the Editor:

Before I begin I think I ought to
explain’ that I am a faithful fol-

lower of your newspaper. I read
‘my roommate’s copy every third

week, and therefore feel that I am
not only qualified but justified in

’ writing you this letter.

First of all, I don’t believe that
your paper fully covers the cam-
pus. In your account of the recent
dance, for instance, you failed to
mention the brawl after the inter-
mission that occurred’ near the
punch-bowl. A brawl of which,
may I modestly add, I was the
cause. Need I continue? The point
is that this is merely one example
of your publication’s inadequate
reporting of the happenings at
Bryn Mawr.

I also believe that you leave
something to be desired inthe im-
partiality of your coverage of the
various campus organizations. In a
récent issue, for instance, you de-
voted 10% inches to the League
for the Preservation of Ivy_on the
Library, yet only 5 9/16 inches to
the Young Bryn Mawrters for Ac-
tion at Haverford.

I believe that if you yourself will
count up the total number of
inches alloted these two. organi-
zations during the past month you
will find that the last—of which,
may I again modestly add, I am
also President — has _ received
shamefully less space ‘than’ the
I shall spare the reader
the statistics, but I am ready and
eager to provide you with them, if
you so desire. . :

I also find that the quality of
an writing is quite poor. I no-

‘tied in your.last.issue that you ‘y
oad eran three words whose San- | Gy





“Walter Cook
_ Watch Repair

skritic origin makes their lexicog-
raphy crystal clear. . Further, in
one of your articles you failed to
properly identify Miss McBride,
leaving. some. doubt—in this read-
er’s mind, at least—whether you
mean the President of Bryn Mawr
College or some other distinguish-
ed but entirely different personage.

These are the main complaints
have at this time, and I am confi-
dent that with a little effort you
will be able to correct them, thus
bringing the paper up to the level
of the masthead, of which I thor-
oughly approve. I feel I.must warn
you, however, that until you make
these corrections I shall fee] that I
cannot, in conscience, subscribe to
your weekly publication.

Sincerely,
Effie Glutz, ’58.

Bestial Eyes Drive
A Student Beserk

Continued from Page 3

rid of the beast is to bribe it with
crackers, popcorn, peanut butter—
anything—out onto the window sill
and then slam the window shut.

‘One girl who has the misfortune

to have a balcony has- been so in-|

timidated by one squirrel that she
has had‘to buy a window screen to
keep out the invader. It was in the
habit of climbing down onto her
bed, and to wake up staring into a
pair of bestial eyes was too much.

To sleep with the window closed
is unbearable in this climate; a
window opened from the top only
makes the shades flap noisily. The
only solution is to buy a window
screen and a shot-gun, and to take
firm, united steps toward reintimi-
dation of the squirrels.

madam replys too
skeptikel oreblian

by Carol Hansen, °57

Dear Madam,

I have been’ dating a ney from
Haverford very steadily for two
months. He’s*very, nice and I en-
joy being with him; however, when
I was in Princeton with the. chorus
last weekend I met the dregmiest
person. He asked me back’ next
weekend and I want to go. But I
have a date with my Haverford
boy friend. What should I do?

Divided
Dear Divided,

You have a problem?
* * *

Dear Madam,

My parents and friends want me
to come home during spring vaca-
tion, I know it would be loads of
fun. Yet, I have a paper to write
and if I stayed here I could get so
much work done . Don’t you think

I. should remain at school?

Confused

| Dear. Confused,

No.
ee, Bi oe
Dear Madam,
I want to be a lawyer. This has
been my burning desire for years,
my true destiny, Something hap-
pened, though. I met a wonderful
boy who is trying to make me for-
get my ambition: I have decided
nothing must interfere with my
career and have given him up. Am
I not right?
Determined

Dear Determined,

Whoever told you that men
aren’t everything was lying.

* * *

Epilogue: 6
Whoever follows my advice,
Real cool,
Will find that it is only,
April fool.

:| Stinky Pinkies---Or

13 daffy definitions

«
Collected by Espey Cooke, °57
A special type of railroad—a par-
ticular funicular.

A beer pantry — knickerbocker li-
quor locker.

A pure part of the body—a chaste
waist.

A very young bug—a foetal beetle.

A dark fowl—a murky turkey.

A lewd yell—a foul howl.

A glamorous president — a sexy
prexy.

An insect’s apparel — an ant’s
pants.

A Gallic gamine—a Frefich wench.
A, damp puppy—a soggy doggy.
A fowl’s shoes—a duck’s bucks.

A deer’s trousers—a buck’s ducks
Hell’s belles—Hades’ ladies.



q fest Tube “Always loved to
Mysteries

probe the un-
known, so my job
as secretary to the
head chemist is
made for me.;..
Katie Gibbs has
the happy knack
of matching the
girl and the job.”



women use Gibbs
secretarial training to secure the right job
and assure rapid promotion. Special Course
for College Women. Write College Dean for
“Gress Girts aT Work.”

KATHARINE GIBBS

SECRETARIAL

CHICAGO 11, 51 E. Superior St. PROVIDENCE 6, 155 Angell St
« MONTCLAIR, WN. J., 33 Plymouth St.





There must be reasons why.








‘ Areyow :
oe Minded”?







” EAST peycorssg ° "akahen naan
e — 4 pin a A



Every year hun- |
dreds of college ‘-

BOSTON 16, 90 Martborough St. NEW YORK 17, 230 Park Ave:

Morebull Displays Dazzling Discoveries
In Raunchy Report On Refined Natives

Continued from Page 3

In contrast to public opinion,
this doesn’t result in a state of
anarchy, but rather in a contented
group of people who are able to
express their primitive tendencies
in ‘this manner. Immediately fol-
lowing this -section, Dr. Morebull
handles the Wasumangoabian’s so-
lution to education and the family.
These aspects of their society will
be interpreted in the ninth. and
tenth reviews of this series.

Students who have had the priv-
ilege of devouring advance copies
of this breathtaking book. have
been overwhelmed at the zealous-
ness of Dr. Morebull in advocating
this society. He is completely con-

-vineed that it is “Utopia on earth”

and has dedicated his life to fight-
ing for its replacement of every
other culture.

At present, Dr.
ganizing the “We go Wasuman-
goabo” league which is to be the

tool that forges the acceptance of |’
The movement has|:

this society.
attracted much interest on campus,
particularly among students ofDr.
Morebull’s classes.

The New York Dimes and Strife
have published glowing criticisms
ofthe book. “It’s glossal!’” -said
the Dimes in the March 18, 1954

-issue.

Morebull is or-|)





Strife- devoted’an entire
page to. the life and works of Dr.
Morebull on March 15, 1954, end-
ing with the comment “a book you
shouldn’t miss. Once you’ve start-
ed the first 1000 pages, you can’t
leave it until you’ve read the next
4,000. The philosophy of the book
is shockingly logical; it opens an
entirely new trend of thought.
This volume is destined to have
world-shaking effects.” |

A limited number of copies are
available at the bookshop, and will
be sold both for texts and pleasure
reading.

_ In Loving Memory
Of
Effie Glutz, 58

Who

* Lived Wrong
And
Died Right

MCMLIV R.1.P.







Just the ticket
for spring
vacation!

GO HOME
BY TRAIN!






WHY INCH THROUGH HIGHWAY TRAFFIC or wait until skyway weather
clears? Take a train home and keep that very first date for sure!

IT’S MORE FUN GOING with the crowd all together on the train. There’s
room for bridge or bull session/ And, in the dining car, you can

enjoy the next best to home
GO FOR 25% LESS than the

coach fare by traveling home and

back with two or more friends on Group Economy Plan Tickets.

They’re good on trips of *100 miles or more. Gather a group of 26 or

more and you each save 28% riding long-distance on the same
train, then returning as a group or individually.

*except for tripe between stations
Lancaster,

eee er York City;

Pa.; and Washington, D. C.

ee ae ~~ Consult Your Local Railroad Ticket Agent Well in Advance

of Departure Date for Detailed Information b