Sadie Brouwer Bartram letter to Martha Schofield

Brooklyn October 26th 1862
Sabbath Afternoon
My dear, dear friend
I fully intended writing
to thee last first-day, but in the morning went
to meeting, returned most sick, having a bad
cold, was forced to be in bed most of the afternoon
notwithstanding I had a friend staying with me.
It has been raining nearly all day, therefore I did
not get out to meeting; father and mother went to
New Castle last night, I think mother will remain
a week, at least I wanted her too as this week
is Chappaqua Quarterly Meeting, and I thought
it would be pleasant for her to attend, and to
meet again many of old friends. Cousin Mary Brouwer
came over last night to stay with me so I not at
all lonely, beside Brother Jim is at home. Jakey is
still at Tarrytown, getting along nicely, has not
been at home at all yet.

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How delighted I was to get thy last letter and
to hear thy friend Olden was at home, it seems
as if I already knew him, having heard him
spoken off so often; it is indeed a great pleasure
and consolation when our friends return from the
battle-field, uninjured by the temptation, with
which they have long [inserted:been] surrounded, to fully believe
they have returned with their morals as pure and
refined as when they left their homes, I too
believe that hundred will return unchanged in
these respects, but more that will be [?]
for life, few have the power to resist the
influence of bad companion, which are found
in every regiments, oh! would it not be glorious
if all the men that compose our grand armies
were Christian men, those that would be
congenial with each other, that could mingle
with all without fear of meeting with the
evil companion, then I believe we would be
seen victorious, but now not only the men,
the privates are wicked, but ah [all] to often do we
find officers are men who would disgrace
even a low class of people, in some of the

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late battles, we know it to be true that some of
the prominent officers were [underlined] drunk [/underlined]- [underlined] dead drunk [underlined],
not able to give a single command, it is
not dreadful, the very thought is enough to
make one shudder, to think thousands of noble
lives have thus been sacrificed, which had there
been able commanders might have been saved.
Sometimes I am almost forced to believe,
that we have received little good, from thus
unnecessarily sacrificing [?] of thousands, yea
millions of noble lives, it is when we pass
through our large cities and see the sad faces
of the widows and the fatherless, that the realities
of this Cruel War, are more deeply felt.
Yesterday I went to see a friend sail for
California, she was a young orphan girl, one
we have long know and felt deeply interested
her, she was engaged to be married, and her
intended went to California last spring, she
not get ready to go then, but started yesterday
with a friend, expecting to be married as soon
as she reaches there, it seemed like a great
undertaking, and we felt badly to see her go

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not knowing we should ever see her again,
it was cheering to see her go hopeful, her face
seemed radiant with hope and joy with the
thought, if [underlined] nothing happened [/underlined] she should
soon be with him she loved best on earth,
She probably will be on the Ocean nearly
four weeks, a long while I think.
After the vessel had left the Wharf, another
vessel, a rather steam-boat filled with soldiers
[crossed out: h] left, they looked happy and cheer after cheer
filled the air, and [?] [?] were the handkerchief
waved to those noble fellows, just leaving their
homes and friends to defend their country's
glory, and I guess the heart of every spectator
breathed a fervent heartfelt prayer to God, for
those noble men, there was a widow lady and
her daughter with us who had a son
killed in one of the late battles and [crossed out:ba] brought
home a corpse only a few weeks ago, it seemed
as if their hearts would break seeing the
soldiers start, it [crossed out: would] brought back vividly to their
rememberance, [crossed out: with] the parting with their loved
ones, their sobs, aroused the sympathy of every bystander,
It does seem sometimes as if parting with those who

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[Number 2]
leave for the Army, far more heartrending
than [inserted:with] those who leave for foreign country and
never expect to return. They have not yet
drafted in New York, I presume the 10th
of November, that is the day appointed.
Last sixth day I celebrated my birth-day not
by much outward demonstration, but by serious
reflections, and many, many resolutions to be
good, and faithful to every known duty, I
felt sad and thoughtful all day, I can
scarcely believe I am nineteen, but such
is really the case, although I do not feel
any older than when at Williets Seminary/
A [underlined] Photograthic Album [/underlined] [inserted:from brother Jim] a beautiful
green velvet [?] [inserted: from father] a pretty collar
and cuffs from mother and a handsome
[jackethandkerchief?] from a friend constituted
the presents of the day, I think I fared
well. Uncle came down that day, called to
the store and left a basket of grapes,
which I concluded [underlined] must be for me [/underlined].

[crosshatched text written from left side of page. Continuation from page 8]
afternoon. I remain as ever thy warmly attached and loving friend Sadie.

[crosshatched text at top of page]
I received the papers and enjoyed them reading them as usual

[Note added upside down, in pencil]
2nd day morning
I really did not know I wrote so badly
last night but Jim is in a hurry so I
have not time to look at it. It is raining [fast?]

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Mart, they cannot imagine how sorry I
felt to hear Ben and Mr Michell had
been Brooklyn without my seeing them, and
it was so funny to think they should have
found another Sadie Brouwer, I have a
cousin Sarah Brouwer in New York, or
rather it is Atwood now as she is married.
Tell Ben I had a good deal of [?] and
for [underlined] I [/underlined] did not return to New York without
finding the friends I sought. I would have
been so glad to have seen them, then I should
have heard directly from thee.
Dearest friend, I have and still do anticipate
having thee come New York this winter and
may I not cherish the hope, I will not
be disappointed, every night does the wish arise,
oh would that Mart was with me, and as
I open the Bible before returning, I often think
[crossed out: I] how we used to read last summer while
on the bed. About two weeks ago I
went through the hospital , with a friend
whose father is [Proprietor?], there were about
two hundred patients, they were much

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more cheerful and happy than I expected,
they had excellent make nurses, and every
thing was in the best of order, all received
kind treatment and good care, Ladies are
not allowed in the Brooklyn Hospital
now, as many thought it best for them
to have male nurses, beside there had
been young ladies came, and given the
soldiers to eat, many unsuitable things,
put them under their pillows, such as
pickles etc. I have made considerable
lint, lately, but have been unable to
sew any as I have had the Salt-Rheum
very badly, am better now, but am
afraid it will soon break out again.
The young lady who went through with
me, is to be married next fourth day
will be in an Episcopal Church, in
fall dress and grad style. She is a
lovely girl, and only daughter, her father
a widower and very wealthy, the solider all
think so much of her, she always had a cheering
word to all. She is going to live out West.

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I am glad thee went to hear Gottschalk,
I have not yet heard him, but want to [crossedout: hear]
I saw his friend while at Tarrytown the
last time, but only to bow to him, I was
very sorry, for I would like to hear from
Gottschalk , when he comes to Brooklyn
hope to hear him [surely?], I like him so much
I got the wedding cards when at Tarrytown
nearly three weeks ago, but neglected sending
them. I have continued fears that Robert
L's marriage will not be a [underlined] happy [/underlined] one, I
have never seen her, but have heard her
spoken off very highly. The first go to one
meeting, their then the other, it seems very strange
to see him drive up and leave his mother
and sister, then go to another meeting, [beside?]
they can never attend the same business
meeting, I would much rather that one
or the other should sacrifice, than first
attend one, then the other, there never can
be that true unity of soul, there ought to be.
Perhaps ought not to judge too soon. I have
not heard from Harrison in a long, long while.
My darling, it does not seem I had half answered
thy precious letter, or written all I intended, but I
guess the two sheets and two sets of wedding cards
will have to suffice this time, with much love
to all, and the hope thee will write soon I will

[Crosshatched text written from the right side of the page]
bid thee an affectionate Good night, for it evening now,( [?] here Until.

[Crosshatched text written from the left side of the page]
Wasn't it funny we never received Hannah [Harlands?] cards before.

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[Envelope Writing]
Miss Martha Schofield
Darby P.A
Delaware County
Pennsylvania