Lockwood-0068_03

MY EFFORTS TO BECOME A LAWYER. 217

action. Forever after, she is known by her husband’s name, takes

‘his standing in society, receives only Ais friends, is represented by

him, and becomes a sort of domestic nonentity, reflecting, if anything,
her husband’s religious, moral, and political views, and rising or falling
in the world as his star shall go up or down.

* I had not even noted this phase of society, and directly adopted the
unwomanly habit of pursuing my studies after my marriage, writing
theses for literary gatherings, and sometimes for the public press.

A babe soon gladdened my houschold, but my married life was
short, as my husband sickened soon after our marriage and died of a
lingering consumption during the fifth year, leaving me, without
fortune, to make my way in the world.

Not yet twenty-three years of age, a mother and a widow, with
poor parents, with not even a liberal education as a reliance for support,
the outlook was gloomy. - Gathering together my little means, I soon
began to attend school again in a neighboring academy, in order to fit
myself for some active employment whereby I could earn a livelihood
for myself and child. Here I was reminded that “married women
were not supposed to attend school, even though widowed,”—that it
was “an unheard-of and an unusual thing!” “What did I expect to
make of myself?” and other impudent questions, were asked me; but
I kept on my course and completed the academic term. I now had the
hardihood to ask of the trustees the privilege of teaching the winter
school in my neighborhood, but was promptly told that the trustees
had determined to employ “a man” for the winter months; and so I
concluded to make my second term in the academy. The woman
teacher was not as popular in that day as she has become in this, and
was only employed by sufferance, and for the further reason that her
wages, which were then raised by a direct tax on the parents of the
pupils, were expected to be much less.

Defeats are always advantageous, if they only bend the spirit and
do not break it. This added knowledge was undoubtedly necessary to
my after-success in this same school, for the winter had only half
elapsed when I was waited upon by these same trustees, informed that
they had dismissed their male teacher, and begged by them to accept
control of the school. The wages here earned during one year and a
half made me contemplate a course in Genesee Wesleyan Seminary,
New York, then opened to young men and young women on the same
terms, and this resolve was put in force in the autumn of 1854.

To this step all my friends and advisers objected ; and I was com-
pelled to use a good deal of strategy to prevent an open rupture. But,
after much mending and turning of a scanty wardrobe, with some new
additions, my trunk was duly packed for the September term of the
school, and with two young-lady companions I undertook the journey,
then about sixty miles from home. This was my first journey, and
was to me a matter of a good deal of moment. We arrived safely,
without incident, just as the shades of night were gathering over the
seminary. My first term was devoted entirely and zealously to the
routine-work of the school. But the young men were all prepariig for
Genesee College, then connected with this seminary, and already had