As a senior I feel compelled to write something about what it's like to be a queer woman at Haverford.
But as with everything else at Haverford, I don't really know what I want to say. I'm filled with so many
contradictions. Liké drawing comfort from the queer community but still feeling completely isolated from
it. Like being as out as I possibly can be and knowing that much of the campus assumes I'm straight.
‘Like wanting to complain about the lack of visibility and support here while at the same time knowing
how much worse it is most other places. And my ambivalent feelings about queer issues can't be
disentangled from my ambivalent feelings about other things here. Such as being attracted to some
women here while being actively turned off by what I see in so many other women here. Such as trying
to combat the fucked up atmosphere around sex that exists at Haverford without losing sight of my own
sexuality. , |
Recently I've felt a greater and greater urge to let go of queer issues here. In a month I will graduate
and leave; maybe this last month needs to be for myself. But something pulls me back, is making me
write this right now. There are certain things that need to be said. But I don't really want to talk about
Haverford as a whole, or the queer or straight communities. As much as we all love studying and
dissecting our various communities here, I'm convinced that being queer and happy mostly centers on
the individuals you encounter, and only partly relates to the community around you, especially at
Haverford. However, just-for the record, I'll answer the "Do I think Haverford isa _ |
good/safe/accepting/understanding/etc. place to be queer?" question. Short answer - yes with an if; long
answer - no with a but. (And if you just got that reference, you go up a notch on the coolness list.) So to
demonstrate that it's the individuals that make all the difference, I'd like to thank a few people (using -
their first initial only so as not to put anyone on the spot.)
Thanks to C for recognizing your homophobia, acknowledging it publicly, and eliminating it. And thanks:
for seeing queer issues ina larger c context.
M, thank you for trusting me, someone you hardly knew, to be one of the first people you came out to.
You unknowingly erased much of the loneliness by the similarities of our situations.
J, J, and L - thanks for giving Haverford a one night dose of queerness it sorely needed.
D, thanks for letting me lust after you these past t two years; even though you don't really know who I am
at all.
Thanks A for being a gay poy § and never apologizing for it.
Thanks you Professors K, S, B, and others for being out. It makes such a difference, but you must
already know that.
‘
Thanks President T for listening to our concerns, nodding your head a lot, and then turning around and —
not doing a damn thing. It's nice to be reminded every once ina while what areas of queer life at
Haverford need some work.
Thank you Dean W for asking what we need for the simple reason that you actually want to 0 help.
1, thanks for not throwing me off the cliff or spending the rest of your life with me. You know I'd have
sex with you any day.
Thank you M for not putting anyone in a gender box.
Thanks to the boy for seeing more of me than anyone else can.
