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Page Two

THE COLLEGE NEWS

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THE COLLEGE NEWS

(Founded in 1914)



Published weekly during the College Year (excepting during ‘Thanksgiving,
Christmas and Easter Holidays, and during examination weeks) in the interest of
Bryn Mawr College at the Maguire Building, Wayne, Pa., and Bryn Mawr College.










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SALLIE JONES, '34 CiaRA FRANCES GRANT, °34
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v

The Light. That Fails

There are always certain individuals in every community who.

imagine themselves to be possessed of extraordinary genius, intelli-
gence, or perception which elevates them above the common herd and
enables them to watch the little children play with a tolerant smile.
This is unfortunately true at Bryn Mawr-ewhere the long and honor-

able tradition of learning is often misinterpreted by students as one of
intellectual snobbishness. Bryn Mawr has built up a tradition of being
almost impossible to achieve and extremely difficult to continue in and

some of our citizens tend to add to this myth. of impossibility, and’

once inside the gates assume an air of intellectual superiority to us
and to all mankind. Just what they consider themselves to be proving
it is hard to imagine. They adopt an attitude of walking encyclopae-
dias in the smoking-room, but only the more ebwvilized subjects are in-
eluded within their holy pages. They spend their time discussing the
optional reading in a course, frowning upon those of us who don’t
suffer acutely from the intellectual altitude of the third floor of Tay-
lor, and they regard any subject’ which receives wholesale acclaim, be
it a book, play, movie or invention, as a publie fetish upon which to
snort indignantly. Why students who come to Bryn Mawr feel that
it is incumbent upon them to adopt this pose of intellectual. rarefica-
tion is beyond us. We are all in college to get an education, but it
will be worth very little to us indeed if we lose our humanity, socia-
bility and world sympathy in the process. There is no creature more
unpopular in any community than one. who knows more than anyone
else does, and is his own chief witness to that effect. College is a close
community, composed in the main of cheerful souls who are not above
cutting intellectual corners at times, and who would rather talk to a
professor about the movies and prohibition at hall teas than about the
fourth dimension and the stratosphere. We all want to learn or we
~ would not be here, but most of us are inclined to assimilate what» we
can in as friendly and as intelligent a manner as ‘possible.. The most
brilliant people ever turned out by Bryn Mawr have been recruited
largely from the class of students regarded by: our pseudo-intellects
as unimaginative creatures who did their work without shouting from
the housetops, spoke not whereof they did not know, talked normally
to professors out of class, and did not consider it putting one foot in
the gutter when they admitted a liking for those things acclaimed by
the unenlightened public. They left college with something more than
a diploma and they left behind them a stronger tradition for. true
- learning and its attendant humanity. The students: however, who
~Struggle under a misconception of what the ivied walls of the college
stand for, go forth into the world, with comparatively empty heads,
and even more vacant hearts. They are all bluff—all sham—and the
world is quick to recognize and despise the intellectual snob whose
nose is elevated too high to catch the temper of the times. Nor do
our superior beings fool anyone in ‘college with all their blowing of
the trumpets of the mind. We are all deeply attached to our smoking-
room philosophers and philosophies, and we can understand and ab-
sorb their gentle teaching. But no one loves, and tio~one would be
caught dead absorbing the theory of a celestial fund of learning from
which the favored ones are equipped with a gamma ray in the intellect
that enables them to see through human superstitions.._Let these crea-
tures go off and dance their dances in the cloisters, and leave us our
stupid but pleasant life of appreciation of what goes om around us,
untroubled by any knowledge of human fallacies of taste, learning
and criticism. We are all human beings, and most of us, ineluding
our superior brand minds, love the simple things in this world, afid
epen our mouths in pain or praise at the same things. that attract or
“repell the outside world. Why don’t “we all admit it? Why must

.some of- us go along maintaining a pose that cannot be very comfort-.

able, and certainly isn’t very effective? Nothing is more appealing
than a_little whole-hearted enthusiasm, and a display of it has never

‘ yet stamped anyone as an idiot. We are not advocating a college of
Girl Scouts, all cheering every green thing to the sky, we merely sug-
gest that some of our cloistered friends stop bluffing, and applaud
when they feel like it, instead of holding themselves within the glassy
realm of reason from dawn till dark.



The Seniors at Wellesley College

“Green things must grow.”

- apy member of their class.
| —(N. SFA) |

(N. 8. F. A) -

|The worthy mascot of the green

‘We do not study in the stacks at all;

Freshmen at Lynchburg College,
have elected Will Rogers as honor-/| Virginia, have chosen as their motto,



wit’s END|

TO THE OFFERER OF UNSOLIC-
ITED ADVICE, ETC.

Before you venture to advise

The Freshmen or to criticize



We suggest that you might glean,

(Without creating much commotion)

A somewhat more inclusive notion

Of what’s within the bounds of
knowledge

Taught at this respected college.

Peruse perhaps Old English Lit

(For Sophomores). You -will find in
it

The ,Phoenix, Copaecnit’s
tion,

Which gives an adequate description.

(2?) produce-

“This phoenix. beast” we blush to see
From candidate for an A.B.,
Really have you never heard
That the creature is a bird?

Morcover, why restrict the choice
To facts or science. Let thé voice
Of fancy speak, or rampant rev’ry.
Dalton comprehends not ev’ry
Creature, living or extinct.

And those which roam the far pre-
~ cinek

Of Art Sem, Pembroke gate, Rock.
stair

Are valid even though they wear
A fabulous significance.
You can’t deny that they enhance
The glamour of the place, so why
May one not bounds of fag deny?
Must the Phoenix be rejected
Since jin lab he’s not dissected.

¢ —Griffin.



ERRATUM
(Profuse et ceteras to Minor Bi)
Blood is red,
Blood is blue,
Blood is black—
All quite true.

Vertebrates’ red,
Vergil’s black,
Royalty’s blue

To the* poet hack.

But the dogfish

Has it red,

Contrary (sad!)

To what I said.
—Campusnoop.



CONSOLATION
O ye who groan o’er science course
required,
Who, eloquent and bitter,
desired
Immediate destruction of the Dean
Or any so degenerate and mean
To force a free-born girl who simply
hates
To test unknowns, break rocks, or
measure weights, ™ “
To sit in Daltons’ grim, ill-lighted
~ labs
And curse the while she impotently
jabs
At some poor dogfish stretched out
stark and dead,
And brings to light what it’s been
lately fed; =~
Oh, ye who marvel at the lunatic
Who, out of all the courses she may
pick,
Elects to major in a science and
Dedicate her heart and Kead and
hand
And all her afternoons to such a
fate—
Oh, listen, ere you pity her sad state:
We gpend our‘ days in Dalton, that
is true—
sit and work, of course,—but so
do you.
have no thirty-page reports to
write— ,
We never find ourselves in such a
plight;
need not read and read, and then
compile
A bibliography in length a mile;
We have no “passim reading,” thank
the Lord,
Or any reading list that leaves us
floored; :
We never-stare at pictures on‘a wall;

oft

We

We

We

We don’t attend a Goodhart speech

: perforce;

We never track a fragment to its,
source. 5

The portrait of a fat-faced, ugly boy

Need not fill us with sheer esthetic

| IP % ;

We spare ourselves transports of |

2 ecstacies

O’er some dull-looking babe upon, the
knees

4 Alligators, yaks, storks and gryphons,

Of any unattractive primitive.
O satisfying science, please forgive
These slaves who boast their free-
dom from thy chain,
And do not see the freedom we attain.
—Adamant, Eve.



BIRD, BEAST, OR FISH?
Heavenly bodies? Sounds like a
star!
Ah mé! How I, wonder what» you
are



So all night long I dreamt of zoos,

Dinosaurs, dachsunds, protozoa in
00ze,

Emus, ant-eaters, wallabies, And.eels,

Newts, efts, poodles, bandicoots, and
seals,

Wapiti, boks, koodoos, and chamois,

Tapirs and mongeese, lizards from
Miami;

Pekinese, snipes, cobras, and pythons,

Of boa constrictors in embraces lewd,

Of octopi and hippos and skunks to
be eschewed.

All day long I- searched for lairs,

I prowled about and tore my hairs.

Bird, beast, or fish? I counted ten

And inhaled deeply; but to my ken

Came nothing—either’ cooked for\ |
food,

Or destined or deserving to be
Zooed!

There’s nothing left but to throw my
bestiary

And myself in the nearest estuary!

—A Spirit of ’35.



HEAVENLY BODIES
At last we know the title of
The Freshman Show this year,
And if we didn’t know it was
The Freshman Show, I fear
We’d think it an advertisement
For something meant to gladden
The heart of Earl Carroll, or
Perhaps Bernarr Macfadden.
—Adamant Eve.



Heavenly Bodies sounds to us as
though 1936 were going’ feminine on
us—and only three years ago the

class animal of 1933 was: homo
sapiens! Sic transit gloria mundi. .
Cheero,

THE MAD HATTER.



IN PHILADELPHIA.



Theatres

Forrest: . Of Thee I Sing, with
William Gaxton, Lois Moran, and
Victor (Throttlebottom) Moore. Our
exemplary government takes a ‘ride
—and what a ride!

Garrick: The Queen’s Husband
comes whipping into town advertised
as an “international comedy hit.’
That is a little too comprehensive—
as we hear it didn’t go over. amgng
the virgins of Bali—but it’s funny.

Chestnut Street: Roger Pryor and
Katherine Wilson in A Trip to Press-
burg mit beer and pretzels. Very
widely heralded from European
‘shores — Pressburg is apparently a
swell spot.

\ Academy of Music

ri. aft., March 38, at 2.30 'P. M.,
and Sat. eve., March 4, at 8.20 P. M.,
Leopold Stokowski will conduct and
the piano soloist will be Abram
Chasins. Program:
Schumann.Symphony No. 4, D Minor

OCnbeine 25. 63a Concerto for
Piano and Orchestra

Weener, - 2... 6dr. Das Rheingold
Mon. eve., March 6, at 8.15 P M.,

Philharmonic Symphony Society of-
New York, with Arturo. Toscanini
conducting. Program:

Beethoven .......~<; Symphony No. 3,
E Flat Major (Eroica)

Waeter oa Overture and Baccha-
-» nale from Tannhauser
Wagner....Prelude ‘and Love-Death’

from Tristram and Isolde

Thurs. eve., March 9, at 8.20 P.
M., Philadelphia Orchestra concert
for youth.

v



Movies _

Earle: Loretta Young in a great
movie of the feminine unemployed—
‘in more ways than one, Employees’
“Entrance. “Give me a job at any|.
price.” And she almost paid and
paid because -thé world is full of
blackguards.

Keith’s: A veritable hot-bed of

(Continued on Page Three)



Corpulent campus cops, almost a
tradition at Yale,-have been told they
must reduce their waistlines. The
university's health department has
issued an order requiring them to











‘| report in the gym for daily workouts.

News of the New York Theatres

We opened our mouth wide last

| week and deftly. put our foot in it

when we declared that Tallulah Bank-
head’s new play, Forsaking All
Others, had’ apparently perished in
the garden State of Maryland. Not
at all—it opens tonight amid. sur-
roundings second in glamour and ce-
lebrities only to the premiere of De-
sign For Living. All of Miss Bank-

head’s admirers and sympathizers are

flocking to see the eye of Heaven
wink—and it will
disappoint. :

American. Dream, the Theatre
Guild’s trilogy of our American’ life
conceived by George O’Neil, is not
a success in spite of its first act Pil-
grim’s Progress and its last act orgy

apparently not

‘of champagne, lust, and manias with

varied prefixes. The tale follows a
family from 1650 to 1983 and the
general impression \conveyed is that
time has not been ind ‘to the man-
ners'and morals of our race, It’s dis-
couraging, but one cannot resist sug-
gesting that Mr. O’Neill may live in.
some bad neighborhood, and so got
his brain addled. We assure him

“that it can’t be as bad now.as_he

paints it, or we wouldn’t have men
like Roosevelt, Ed Wynn or Adolf
Hitler. ;

The great drama of reciprocity
amid the tender passions, Design For
Living, is to run until May 27, or
thirteen weeks longer, to be expan-
sive. There will be no road: tour,
nor will there be a London produé-
tion. The reasons for confining the
comedy to the limits of Manhattan
are obvious — imagine Philadelphia
that won’t allow eighteen little men
to play baseball on Sunday watching
Leo and Otto play “Gilda, Gilda,
who’s got Gilda,’ within the sacred
confines.

Eva Le Gallienne has transplanted
her Civic Repertory group from
Fourteenth Street to the New Am-
sterdam and the venture has proved
highly successful. At present Alice
in Wonderland is the major drawing
card, but plans are under way to pro-
duce Chekov’s melancholy and moan-
ing requiem of a passing generation,
The Cherry Orchard, with Alla Nazi-
mova portraying Mme. Renavsky.
Miss Le Galliene will take the part
of Varya, Paul Leyssar that of Gaev,
and Josephine Hutchinson that of
Arya. The present plan is to open
this new effort in May, and alternate
it with the ever-prosperous Alice.

Victor McLaglen, the little man
from Hollywood, is contemplating a
return to Broadway in a new play,
entitled American Plan. The play
concerns _a-speakeasy and a®yery su-
perior bouncer, who can put art into

‘the most stereotyped job—just Mr.

McLaglen’s type. A great many of
the film’s celebrities are returning to
the stage for the time being: Tal-
lulah Bankhead, Charles Laughton
and even Nancy Carroll, who is hold-
ing forth up in New England in Pres-
ton Sturges’ new play, Child of Man-
hattan,

Just what is going on over in Lon-
don and in Switzerland where our
theatrical play-boys are cavorting is
a little vague. Peggy Wood, just
back from London to appears here in
Saturday Night, says Romney Brent.
(Sapiens from The Warrior’s Hus-
band) is in London writing a libretto
entitled Nymph Errant, which
Charles B. Cochran, the British king
bee producer, will put on. Last week
we asserted sturdily that Cole Porter
and Ray Goetz were working on a
play by that name high up in the
snows, and we still believe it: We
admit that last week we got a little
confused on one or two points, but
considering everything we have de-
cided that anyone running a theatre
column among the theatrigal wolves
of Bryn -Mawr runs a ¢ertain physi-
cal and mental risk, the strain of
which can only be borne by one pos-
sessed .of enormous, if unjustified,
confidence in oneself. Following this
line of defense we have survived
shakily through almost a season, and
we are hoping that our castles won’t
crumble at least till the weather’s
warmer. Therefore, in order to con-
ciliate conflicting repofts we suggest
that possibly Mr. Brent. in the fog,
and Mf. Porter and Mr. Goetz in
the snow, are co-operating on a sin-
‘gle masterpiece, of else that the won-
ders. of modern science have failed ~
and they know not of each other.
Any way you look at it, we’re right.

~