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Hell! An GOutline of History

N the first stir of Bryn Mawr civilization, Denbigh, it appears, took the lead.
i There, out of the prehistoric darkness dawned the classic culture. The his-
torian thrills as he reads the glowing names of those who made that age illus-
trious. Research amongst the records of the Trophy Club has disclosed that in
Denbigh Lucy Martin Donnelly first learned to know her Wordsworth; it is rumored
that here Georgiana had an “‘expeerience’”’—though the scientific historian might
reject this as legend rather than fact. That was the age of Classical Antiquity.
The Dark Ages followed, illumined by only a few great names, Helen Taft,
“Peg” Thompson, “Tip,” but with 1922 came the Renaissance. The zsthetic
and literary revival, heralded by a tendency to delve in old manuscripts, cul-
minated in the apotheosis of smoky tea, and fell into decadence with the cult of
green silk pajamas. In spite of the impetus given to natural science by the
Orbisonian School of biology, we find one great figure, Octaviana, still zealous in
the cause of Mother Church. She incited small quotas of her heretical contem-
poraries to assist at the formation of a “quorum,” a rite peculiar to a curious old
religious society. But since her ascetic zeal led her to arising and shutting every-
one’s windows at seven o'clock no one could object to her reactionary tendencies.
Politically, these tendencies were shared by Anna Domina, who upheld the Grand
Old Party, expounding the Divine Right of Republicans.

A renewed interest in personal adornment was manifest. It is known that one
Milady Voorhees never took less than an hour to prepare herself for her daily
appearance at the breakfast table and that she never passed mirror, glass or window-
pane without furtively seeking to adjust her headdress.

We find no manuscripts of more value in shedding light on the contemporary
life of this age than the notes of Niccola, apparently taken during her lectures—
but what a mass of extraneous material! We can only conjecture the probable
subjects of these courses amid the maze of rhymes, sketches, conversations. We
find also several valuable portraits of the prominent schoolmen of the day.

One of the great mystics, Brownus, presents a curious mixture of the practical
and spiritual. She advanced the art of advertising and efficiently managed great
publications,* and yet she felt keenly the mystic yearnings later voiced by Shelley.
It was even declared by a well-known teacher, apropos the romantic spirit, that
“Shelley and Miss Brown found the world too small for them.’’ We have another
philosopher during this epoch, Orlianna Haggertius Pellus, who was so carried away
by her speculative flights that she was once found unconscious on Taylor steps,
and upon reviving declared that a devil had bitten her finger. Even closer psychic
contact with the spirit world was granted Constantia by means of frequent trances.
According to her own account, a grim spectre confronted her in the corridor during
a summer holiday, exacted a tooth from her, and departed without further violence.
She could never refer to the incident without a shudder.

Like Plato at the feet of Socrates, sat one lone student at the foot of the

* This one, for example.

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