170

162 THE BOOK OF THE CLASS OF NINETEEN-ELEVEN





Twenty Wears Water

‘TN a Highly Elastic frame of mind, I stroll through Pembroke Arch, and the sight of the
old buildings makes me feel Most Jolly Hinglish. On Taylor steps sits one of Music’s
Adoring Followers, who, with a Madly Screaming Syren surely Makes Harmony Hopeless.

My Merry Sallies on the subject are replied to by A Managing Woman, who says: “It

can be improved by this High Hellenic Priestess who Averts Fracas by Looking Heaven-

ward!” I answer: ‘‘No, thank you! Bring me this Easily Scared Creature who, in her

Prettily Romantic way, Makes Acting Perfect.’ At this, up strides a Kindly Executive

Captain who, with Ready Wit says: ‘Call in this Auburn Locked Maiden, who Leads the

Singing Roughhouse. Although she is Very Crushingly Cross, and Dotes on Cats, still she

Is Beautiful and a Joyful Chorister.”’ Before I can answer, there Flies Past a Cross Country

Walker who is not Especially Young, but Just Wonderfully Clever. Say I: “She looks so

Marvelously Demure that you would not guess that she Ever Earns Credits!” ‘Not only

that,” replies my friend, “but she is History’s Supreme Shark. Moreover, she Captures

Insects Cleverly, and Mournfully Advocates Whiting!’ “Well,” I exclaim, “Give me a girl

who puts Athletics Before Ph.D.’s, and who, when she jumps, Hits the Top.” As we talk, a

Languidly Indolent Mortal wanders by, and asks: “Why do these girls sing so badly?”

My first informant replies: “It is because one of them is a Repeatedly Fumigated Martyr,

who is Always Exuberant; another is Everlastingly Reading a Clergy’s Limitless Directory,

or else Reads Heavy Greek; a third is an Ever Friendly, Mardi Gras Jobber, who Hauls Much
for Dramatics. Being Fearfully Keen on Classics, she offends a Hopelessly Happy-go-Lucky

Humorist, who Charitably Laughs at Jokes. She, in turn, cannot get on with this Muddle

of Mixed Enthusiasms, whom East Loves Fearfully, because of her Room-mate’s Roses.”
Just then, from the Library, we hear a noise which sounds like a Mathematical Mind

Working Terribly, but which turns out to be an Eternal Everlasting Physicist, in conflict

with an Enthusiastic Language Reader. The latter, although she Murmurs D.’s Carefully,

is A Caustic Debater, and Has Fine Mentality. Meeting a friend who Adores Polecon Work,
and Works on the Bible Actively, she approaches the steps. ‘‘ Courage,” she cries; *“*Every-
one of you Has Marrying Relations! If you will only Eat Minutely and keep your Ankles

Superb, likewise Indefatigably Manage Riches, I am sure that there will be more than one

among you who will be Most Eligible for Hops and Marry a Handsome Lover!”?

Leta HouGute.ine,
CATHERINE Lyman DELANO.