Afghan (Muslim) Wedding, San Jose, CA, 1988

During the reception, Mariam's grandmother distributes henna to guests for luck. It is put on the tiny hands of babies asleep in bassinets. Little girls enjoy having the brown paste smeared on their hands because next morning it will leave a red stain on their palms.

Katrina Thomas's notes: Islam is the common thread that runs through Afghan weddings no matter what region the bride and bridegroom are from or what their native language. Muslim faith separates the couple until the settlement of the mahr, the money a bridegroom awards his bride divided in three parts, which she accepts in signing a contract. At the weddings I attended, she wears a green dress before signing and changes into a white gown for attending the feast with her husband. At the reception, sitting together under a shawl, the newlyweds see each other first as a couple in a mirror and read a sura in the Koran. Among other wedding rites is the use of henna, a brown sticky paste put on the bride's palm and the groom's little finger, and offered to guests for good luck. The newlyweds exchange glasses of sharbat, a fruit drink and eat malida, a sugary crumbly cake. The couple's main activity during the feast is for the two to sit side-by-side, receiving congratulations from guests and posing with them for photographs. One of the first western customs adopted by newcomers is to cut a white-iced wedding cake. Family and guests dance until late in the evening; the newlyweds may dance or they may not.