Letter from M. Carey Thomas to Mary Elizabeth Garrett, May 19, 1890

Monday morning-- I sent you a postal card from Broad St. Station, and sent a letter from there to Julia saying the fault was mine, that the clerical error of my secretary had altered the whole sense, that it was too late for her to get the documents in Westchester, but that if she thought best I would keep them in my safe deposit box till she came home, home that you were very anxious to sign them but had been prevented by this error. I wrote on my postal to you that about the wording in case you should alter a word or find anything should be changed. Please do not hesitate to do so-- do not let us have any more misunderstanding about the documents and I fear if you sent them back here it would be endless and Julia would not understand. Two are exactly as Johnston approved them, one we altered you know, and greatly improved, i think; now if this should not be rightly worded, alter it without consultation. I think it is right, but I am providing for a possibility as the time is short. I shall approve of anything and so will Mamie. I have written Bessie a full explanation of what you and Mamie and I decided yesterday, so if you see her do not let yourself be drawn into any discussion and I have entreated her to make up and told her I was sure that whatever you may have seemed to do, you could not, and did not, wish to insult, or to be rude, to K. Loring, or her. If you waited a day or two it might be better; but do as you think best. Now one thing more-- I want you to understand that in future I expect to believe neither evidence nor words until I hear your own explanation of what seems strange. Remember you believed BessieGÇÖs report of something that I had done that would have been worse even than what I thought it merely possible that you had done for it would have been inconceivable that I should have ignored you after all that had passed in the medical scheme. You blamed this on her sole evidence, whereas I had all sorts of coincidences and statements. One thing I do not think I have done (and I wish to ask you not to do) whatever you may think I do not want you say exactly what you think to any other person [sic], even Mamie; before we have had an opportunity to talk it over. It makes a misunderstanding a great deal worse and if it had been to anyone else I do not think I could have forgiven you. Mamie seems to me wholly different, but even then-- and it was clear from all that passed on Sunday that you had gone into every detail. You understand, do you not, that whatever mistakes you may make I personally am sure you are more apt, far more apt, to do what I approve than anyone else on the Baltimore Committee, that I had infinitely rather have you manage everything. All my suggestions have been sops to Bessie and public opinion that is all. Now in future I want you go straight ahead [sic]. I shall not misunderstand, nor criticise whatever you do. Of course receive the lists and get whoever will to see people-- of course send back Mrs. KeyserGÇÖs list for her to choose from, only send Reed and Co. enough to keep them at work and in sympathy. I was at luncheon and I am afraid of your misunderstanding what I said. I am determined not to let anything more disturb GÇ£the causeGÇ¥ It is a new experience to me that you have the power to hurt my feelings as you have. However angry Mamie and I may be it is always over in a moment, a look or a laugh is enough. Perhaps it comes from our never having been together long enough to have knowledge keep pace with faith-- at all events it is a power we should not use and I propose in future to be an angel of forbearance if need arises. I leave you after all and I believe what you say categorically and those are two good foundation stones to stand afresh on. We have decided to sail on the N. German Floyd on Saturday June 7th, spend a week in London cross by Canterbury and Dover, stop a day at [illegible] and Amiens, a day or so in Paris and then express for the Pyrennees. You know of course (but perhaps Mamie and I had better tell you) how delighted we both should be and Mamie has especially asked me to tell you if you could sail with us and you know you were going to spend a little while in London. We shall stay at the Metropole and although we should be shopping all day what fun to be in London together and then if you could finish in a week think of Amiens. I want you to at least think of the possibility. I do not believe we realize how soon all work must stop till autumn. Once get our Committee organized and that is all. Could you not wait to see how affairs turn out this next week and then whether your own private affairs cannot arrange themselves. As to school house-- Mamie and I shall be in Baltimore early enough to attend to all final things-- the desks and recitation benches are the main things. This does not require to be answered only do not give up what we have wished for so many, many years without at least seeing how things will turn out. Mamie and I shall be perfectly delighted. Never has it seemed to me so much as if it would be possible and then too I shall be so very anxious if after all this strain you remain in the heat I can hardly enjoy myself. I think you ought to decide about Miss Child soon. I will continue later. Yours-- Minnie C. Th.