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Dearest Mary, As you of course saw your second telegram was incorrectly read - it came Gǣtelegraph instant received answer prepaidGǥ I understood it to mean that my first telegram had not arrived and so obeyed orders. I see now it must have meant Gǣtelegram just received answer was prepaidGǥ or something of the kind. I am sorry you received another tautological telegram. I am sorry too you did not write a few lines when you received my first letter because I think you must know better than anyone else what my letter meant perhaps too you feel that words are no good for that very reason and yet I think affection is some comfort or might be. No, nothing is brighter - your goodbye telegram came this morning just as I was leaving Bryn Mawr at 8 A.M. I was so busy that I decided to stick it out and work today (college closed yesterday) but the wind moaned all night and I listened to it most of the night and thought about Mother and the next day at daybreak took the first train for Baltimore. I found Mother much weaker with a cough that keeps her awake and of course I am sure that this means that her lung is affected as is so often the case and that she cannot live as long as we hoped or feared. I donG��t know which. She is bright and cheerful and brave and seems to love to be read to. Tonight I read her JamesG�� GǣBundle of LettersGǥ and last week Miss PhelpsG�� GǣGates BetweenGǥ. She likes books about heaven and I hate them. For me I am living in Hamlet - the rift in my lute has put all the world out of joint. I suppose you know about it but it seems to me as if no one could know how Mother was everything to me. Father and Mother sister and brother - the one person in the world whom I had set apart to love irrespective of whether our tastes agreed or disagreed - who never refused her sympathy and interest - who expected nothing and gave all. As far as my own personal selfish need was concerned I could have parted from my whole familly and never have felt this aching want that is there in anticipation and will be there forever and ever. MOther seems so cheerful that we cannot tell whether she suffers much but I do not think she does - yet. She gets very tired every few hours and we darken the room and leave her to rest - but it seems as if I could not stand it - and no amount of self control seems to help to get on very well except by myself and when I look at her sweet hair and eyes. I do not think I have looked at her really since I wrote you. This is the last letter of the sort I shall write you - what is the use and yet it is so impossible dear Mary to write of anything else. Mamie is such a comfort - we have an electric bell that lies in Mothers [sic] lap or under her pillow - so that she can come whenever she is needed. She is as comfortable as possible, and has everything she wants. Your letter has just come forwarded from Bryn Mawr; and I was so very glad to get it. I acnG��t tell you what an added desolation your telegram was - to know that you had really started found the world. Now your letter makes it much easier. You seemed so far off and there seem to me in my present pessimistic attitude so many chances of dangers by land and sea and yet that is ridiculous - and if you are away it is very nice to have you seeing some things that are very hard to see. I thank you for everything you said. I knew you would understand and I canG��t tell you how often lately I have thought of your MotherG��s death and of you. I think it is something no one can understand without experience - it is like caring very much for a person so much that it is a pain to see them not just what one wants. I am too sorry (I donG��t think I can say it often enough) to have made you more melancholy. I feel as if it had been so selfish but now that the harm is done. I think I must tell you that it will be a great comfort to think that sometimes in Egypt before BessieG��s Gǣmonuments of the pastGǥ you will sometimes (not too often) think of a very happy present that is slowly - or perhaps rapidly - becoming a past in a little provincial city across the ocean. I know you will and I, dear Mary, shall think of you very often and I am afraid sometimes long for you, and if you do come back, as of course you will, [stronger I am sure (I underscored the wrong word in my last scrawl)] for all bad things donG��t happen at once - I shall be a more satisfactory friend I think for by that time I shall understand how hard some things are to bear. Goodbye and a very happy journey Yours lovingly Minnie C. Th.
Letter from M. Carey Thomas to Mary Elizabeth Garrett, December 22, 1887
M. Carey Thomas writes of her mother's illness and a telegraph misunderstanding.
Thomas, M. Carey (Martha Carey), 1857-1935 (author)
Garrett, Mary Elizabeth, 1854-1915 (addressee)
1887-12-22
9 pages
reformatted digital
North and Central America--United States--Maryland--Baltimore Independent City--Baltimore
BMC-CA-RG1-1DD2
M. Carey Thomas Papers, 1853-1935 --http://archives.tricolib.brynmawr.edu/repositories/6/archival_objects/98852
BMC_1DD2_ThomasMC_Outgoing_0125
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Letter from M. Carey Thomas to Mary Elizabeth Garrett, December 22, 1887
M. Carey Thomas writes of her mother's illness and a telegraph misunderstanding.
Thomas, M. Carey (Martha Carey), 1857-1935 (author)
Garrett, Mary Elizabeth, 1854-1915 (addressee)
1887-12-22
9 pages
reformatted digital
North and Central America--United States--Maryland--Baltimore Independent City--Baltimore
BMC-CA-RG1-1DD2
M. Carey Thomas Papers, 1853-1935 --http://archives.tricolib.brynmawr.edu/repositories/6/archival_objects/98852
BMC_1DD2_ThomasMC_Outgoing_0125