Sadie Brouwer Bartram letter to Martha Schofield

Tarrytown October 2nd 1864,

My Dear Mart,

This dull rainy Sabbath morning
finding me seated on a low stool in front of the
stove "in the back room" of the little stone cottage at
Tarrytown, I must acknowledge there is kind of
[underlined] home-sick [/underlined] feeling hovering over one this morning.
It is very cold and pouring with rain, it is strange
but I seldom go any place without having a little
touch of home-sickeness the first day, Even at Waverly
where I spent two most delightful weeks, the first
night I wished myself in Brooklyn. That visit
will long be remembered; the pleasures we enjoyed
are indelibly impressed on my mind never to
erased. often since when a feeling of sadness
creeps over me, I think just one glance at those
beautiful views, would so pleasant. it was on this [?]
side one beautiful afternoon just at sunset that
cousin Mary opened to me the history of her life,
[underlined] not all [/underlined] for that belonged to a dearer friend
who had a most just claim to thee friendship
than I. Her life has been over [thorny?]
road, but I believe she has come forth from the
furnace of [?] [fortified?] and made better
from its sorrows. There too, we talked of our [underlined] family [/underlined]
[underlined] trouble [/underlined], it was not with the open, free [confidential?]
I talked with her as to thee, no, my dear Mart
no living being had the confidence of open Friendship
as come to thee from the heart of thy trusting
friend. Hardly I thought would I keep from thee
knowing and feeling that all secrets, find a grave
with thee. It is now nearly six years since first
we met, and I can truly say these have been the
happiest years of my life for since then I have
known the pleasure of having a [underlined] true friend [/underlined],
I should have been real disappointed if I
had not got thy letter last-week, I was anxiously
waiting for the "Letter Man" when he came, I readily
[?] thee for not writing longer letters, knowing thy
time is so much occupied, though of course a long

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very much love, write soon and [?] to [underlined] Harrison [/underlined], Care of E.M.

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one would be very acceptable when convenient. I am so
sorry thee has to spend so much time in the schoolroom ,
thy, mind aright not to be so continually
occupied, I do hope thee will regain [underlined] all the
pounds [/underlined] thee has lost-during the summer, above all
I do really and sincerely hope thee may escape
the suffering of [Frosted?] [Feet?] do be careful.
Uncle has gone down to the "quiet-little
[?] "alone this morning, the rain prevented us,
Cousin Mary Jane is away now at Chappaqua
[South Carolina?] visiting families with Rachel Hicks who
is on a mission, David Barnes and wife
expect to visit this little dwelling next first
day. They all seem to like it very much.
I received a letter from Hannah Willet the
other day, expressing great-delight that I am
going to visit her, Purchase has indeed seem
like a home to me, so many hours of happiness
have been spent with Edward and Anna, who
were always so kind to us. I always enjoy
visiting among good people of Harrison. It
would be delightful for Anna Barnes and
I to visit thee, together, perhaps we will
sometime I had looked forward to meeting
thee this Fall but as thee has [?]
[teaching?], I think better to wait until Spring
beside it-will be pleasanter; though I think
October a delightful month in the year,
Last-year at this time, we were looking forward
to the pleasure of a [?] Wedding, giving
invitations etc. I do not think Uncle & Aunt Sarah
ever regret their having it, we spent a happy
evening I think. Uncle [Quinby?] & Aunt Anna did
not have theirs this year, as expected, they
having leased their house, it- was not- as convenient
Next year if nothing prevents, I hope to have
one at our house, I look forward to it- with
both pleasure and pain. [underlined] Circumstances [/underlined] make
it-painful to have a company of the [?]
though I think both parents would like it.
Last-4th day we attended the marriage of Mary
Degraw, in Trinity-Church [New York], most of her
Tarrytown friends were down, among others aunts
Sarah & [Jennie?], She looked very sweetly in
her brown [traveling?] dress, I cannot, say I fancied
the groom very much, though he is said to be
a good [underlined] sound man [/underlined], which is to be more

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highly prized than a fancy [underlined] gentleman [/underlined]. They
started immediately for Canada, where they
are to live, she received some very pretty presents.
I am always glad to see a person, married when
I think they will be happy which I hope she
will be. Her sister lives near her, which makes it nice
Last- 1st day I went home from Meeting with Emily
and staid all night, [Nettie?] was there and Louise
came too, all spoke of thee and wished so much
they could spend the winter in Brooklyn. I do not
know whether the " [?] Sociable" is be held
again this winter, for my part- I do not care, I
have not the same motive in going as I had
last, the boys are not with us. I saw George
last-night, he acted very coldly, scarcely spoke,
the reason I cannot tell, Oh! how it pains
me to have him act so, when I ask for an
explanation he always says there is no difficulty
or reason, I do hope he will get over it soon,
I heard last week that Mary Moore was visiting
at Westbury with Steve Willets. Mart I do
not know what to make of Mary's action, she
certainly acts very strangely with Steve and
I have heard many, many times that it
would really amount to something more
than mere flirtation, if I did not [underlined] know [/underlined]
her well I might think it Friendship as
she, I think differently, surely she does not
[underlined] love him [/underlined], his [underlined] money she does [/underlined], Oh! how can she
commit so great a [underlined] Sin in [/underlined]the sight of
her God, as to act so [toward?] a young boy
of his character, if he was in every respect a
[underlined] good young [/underlined] man, it might be more [underlined] endurable [/underlined].
I asked a friend from Purchase the other
day if Mary was going to teach again in
Purchase, the reply was "She guessed, she
would more likely take charge of Williets new
house" How can she do so; She is indeed a
strange character, I [underlined] know [/underlined] she does not-
love for I do not think her nature [realizes?]
what a thing it is to [underlined] Love [/underlined], never can no the
true pleasure of [underlined] that blessing [/underlined]. She is naturally
very fond of gentleman society, is pretty and
dignified, rather attractive but what is
all that without [underlined] Love [/underlined]. I hope I may never
be forced to believe it a truth that Mary Moore
& Steve Willets will ever marry.

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I expect Mary [Brewwer?] [?] here an fourth day to
stay till 6th day morning. I am glad she is
coming even for so short a time, she is so much
better in the country than city. Her sister and
baby are much better, they have been so delicate.
Next 1st day if nothing happens I intend to
go to Purchase, to stay two weeks most of
the time at Edward, though a few days I
hope to spend with Anna Barnes, I too like
them so much, always have such good
cosy visits there. I am glad thee has had a
letter from Anna Willets, they always are so
acceptable. I wish thee could talk politics
with her I suppose they are as strong Democrats
as ever. - Uncle Henry aunt Deborah & Hannah
dined with us last second day, they drove down
they are a little better though miserable, yet,
Sarah we think is getting quite well again even
better than before. William will not be willing for her
to go to Bayside to stay very long till cold weather.
She and mother intend going up to spend the day
some time this week, will drive up. Mr Engler,
father's friend keeps a carriage and [horses?]
driver, which he kindly told mother she
could use, at any time she choose, he
seldom rides except- on sunday. We went to
New York last week, Mother gave father a
beautiful large green easy chair for his birthday
present with- which he was delighted
Give much love to thy mother and tell her
I was very sorry I did not see her while in
[New York] did not hear she was here till afterward .
Poor Aunt Eliza, how my heart aches for
her, Aby will be a great comfort to his mother.
Grapes are ripe uncle has a great abundance
though not as much as last year. I wish thee
had some. Sis Archer expects to go on to Ohio
this week to see her sister Mary. James
Underhill has leased his place for five years,
the family expect to move to Brooklyn, poor
Maggie how delighted she would have been
to live in the city,-but- how much better
off she is, surely no one ought regret that she
was taken from such a world of care & trouble.
I have filled thy sheet which I think will be
rather [short?] to send but I must write home
therefore I will have to close with

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2nd day morning
Although I closed my letter I will add a
little more before taking it-to the office.
Yesterday P.M. [Jennie?] and I went to
Mr Todd's church, heard a stranger
preach, not a very interesting sermon, but
still I felt better there than [underlined] lounging [/underlined]
around home. In the evening went over
to "Grandmother's". Found the [underlined] boys [/underlined]" there,
[Jude?] had been sick all day, in fact
has not been well in 'a long while', I
do not believe he went down this morning
When I told him I had written to thee,
he [underlined] wished his love be given [/underlined], George
did not speak to me at-all, though I
addressed him once. Oh! how such
things sink way down deep in my heart,
worries me so much, after I went to bed
I could but think of it. What dear good friends
John and Edward are to thee, and I
know thee truly appreciates their friendship

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Sometimes I almost [underlined] envy [/underlined] thee, I wish
so much that I trusting gentleman friend
one in whom I could have perfect confidence,
but as thee is [underlined] my husband [/underlined] I give to
thee all the devoted love of a true friend
and [underlined] I hope a dutiful wife [/underlined]. Am I foolish
to wish the Friendship of a gentleman.
I do not wish one of the [underlined] trashy kind [/underlined],
but a real [underlined] good true friend [/underlined], one that I
could look to for advice, without a single
thought of ever being nearer [underlined] related [/underlined].
Mart I have seen so many unhappy
marriages that sometimes I feel [underlined] disgusted [/underlined]
How two persons can stand in the
presence of their God and pledge themselves
the holy vow of matrimony, without
the chain of [underlined] Love [/underlined] uniting their hearts,
I cannot tell. Surely they never can be
happy, I believe though it is utterly
impossible for some people to love,
how I pity them. The young lady Mr
Davidson was engaged too [crossed out: was] expects to
be [underlined] married [/underlined] very soon. I would not

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wonder if he did lose all faith in
woman, for I think he loved Miss
Berry devotedly, and to think he received
none in return, that is not from the
depth of her heart, merely outside show.
There are true marriage I firmly
believe, one is William and Sarah [Cooks?],
I never knew them well, till they came
to live with us, they are so happy in
each other devotion. We must live with
people to know them, and I sometimes
think, I always see the worst side of
people combined with their good
qualities. I think I know uncle and
aunt Sarah to perfection, I have lived
here, and know their [underlined] home character [/underlined] as
well as [underlined] outside [/underlined]. Edward and Anna
have large share of my affection , for
I found them always the same good
Christian to all, The poor people
particularly in "the hills" have many
causes to bless them. No one ever applied
to either for help, in vain, We always owe [crossed out: have]


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a large debt of gratitude to them for their
combined kindness. How thankful I am
that I went [there?] to school. Happy days were
they! little did I know of sorrow then, in
fact I ought not to mourn now for my
cup of affection has been light compared to
thousands of other. When I have gone out
and seen the suffering around me, I return
with a more grateful heart and firmer
resolutions to do better. Oh! I do try so hard
to be good, but wrong will creep in, oh! if
my unruly [underlined] tongue [/underlined] would [underlined] behave itself [/underlined] and
not give me so much trouble, I would be
so delighted. I do try not to speak against
people, only look for the good instead of the
bad, but some how people are sure to let
me see their [underlined] mean deeds [/underlined]. Sometimes I think
I did wrong to tell thee so much about Mary
Moore as I did [Tulips South Carolina?], but it [underlined] would come
out [/underlined]. No harm done either I guess, for I
could but think of it, thee only did I ever
mention it too. How Anna would laugh did
she know it. I should be very sorry for her too,
I am perfectly astonished to find I am nearly
filled another sheet, only expected to write a
few lines. Another must be written before
the mail closes. It is not clear yet, but
I hope it will be soon, not very pleasant in
the country today, that is to walk. I have
plenty of clothes to mend for Jakey to keep
me busy most- all the time I stay.

With much love and plenty of kisses
I remain thy affection friend and wife
write soon Sadie.

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[Envelope Writing]

Miss Martha Schofield
Erminridge
Darby P.A.
Delaware County
Pennsylvania