4

Page Your

Murder |
In The Mosque

Continued from Page 3

rubbed his Van Dyke, and did an
around-the-world with his yoyo.
Deep in his thoughts, he started to
hear the woman ask, “Would you
like me to show you the people
my husband was playing bridge
with last night?”

“Ah-ha!” the salugi cried, “A
sore loser did it! Now we’re get-
ting someplace!” The widow point-
ed to three men in the group of
twelve. One had blue eyes, one
had brown eyes, and one had green
eyes. The salugi ordered them
searched, but none of them had any
weapons on them. “One of you
three is the murderer,” he proclaim-
ed. “Who was El Cosmo’s part-
ner?” The man with the blue eyes
nodded. “Did you win?” The man
nodded in the affirmative. “Then
you’re OK. I arrest you two as
partners in crime for the murder
of El Cosmo, the leader of the
Eastern Mohammedan world. It
is my duty to warn you that any-
thing you say will be held against
you.” One muttered Betty Grable,
one fainted. Quick as lightning,
the ugis sprang into action. They
brought in cameras, set up kleiz
lights, clamped handcuffs on the
two accused men, and revived the
unconscious one with a bucket of
water. “Talk,” snarled the salugi.
Amid great noise, hundreds of Be-
lievers had crowded into the mos-
que, all wailing and pointing at
the two men.

The man with the blue eyes
looked around him, amazed at the
attention that the two were get-
ting. Flashbulbs went off, news-
reel cameras hummed, and an-
nouncers canvassed the onlookers
to get their opinions. Finally, he
could stand it no longer, and
shrieked “I did it! I did it. Give
me'‘some attention too!” He reach-
ed out, focused the cameras on
himself, and clawed at the salugi’s
uniform.

“Yes, yes, F won last night,” he
continued, “but I hated him. I kill-
ed him. He’s been antagonizing me
for years, and last night was the
last straw. I had just bid and made
a grand slam in no trump, and he
said, ‘That’s all you Harvard men
are good for, — Bridge!’ So I kill-
ed him, and I’m glad of it!” He
turned to the camera, smiling, and
repeated, “I’m glad of it!”

* * *

The salugi stopped filing his
nails long enough to smile benign-
ly at the widow and answer her
questions. “Oh, of course, I sensed
it was the blue-eyed one all along.
Once ran into a case something
like his down in Java, a few years
ago. The only reason I arrested the
others was to get him to talk.
Knew it was he all a long. Yes
sir, knew it all the time.”

The widow looked up admiringly
at him, and murmured “How?”
The salugi whispered almost in-
audibly, “Yale, ’27.”





We have that
Extra Special

Graduation Gift

you are looking for

RICHARD
STOCKTON
LANCASTER AVENUE







THE COLLEGE NEWS



Wednesday, May 17, 1950



Haverford Professor

Will Speak to Seniors
Continued from Page 1
Dr. Foss arrived at the Haver-

ford Co-operative Workshop, where
foreign teachers were being fam-

iliarized with the United States,
in 1940. He was discouraged due to
unsuccessful financial ventures and
found in the atmosphere of the
Quaker college the spiritual “lift”
he needed. He has been a teacher,
judge, lawyer, lecturer, and busi-
nessman but has maintained
throughout his life a deep love for
philosophy, which he is now teach-
ing to Haverford and Bryn Mawr
students. In 1948 he was elected
Haverford’s favorite professor.

Besides ‘the books he wrote in
Germany, Dr. Foss has written two
books in the philosophical vein
since he came to America — The
Idea of Perfection in the Western
World and Symbol and Metaphor
in Human Experience, which came
out last fall. Dr. and Mrs. Foss
have two sons, one of whom is
studying and painting in Paris,
and the other of whom is sched-
uled to assist Leonard Bernstein
in the instruction of orchestral
conducting at Tanglewood this
summer.

Correspondent Deplores
Fault-Finding Criticisms
Continued from Page 2

Before I prove to be doing to
the review exactly what I am
complaining that the reviewer has
done to the dance I shall close my
letter with the plea that review-
ers cease to devote their energies
to finding the flaws in productions
and allow themselves to feel the
imipact of the performance as a
whole.

Sincerely,
Alice Lattimore





Rest Your Eyes!
Have Some
Hamburgers and

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AT

HAMBURG HEARTH

BRYN MAWR, PA.









“The Captain’s
Death Bed’’
and other essays
BY
VIRGINIA WOOLF
AT THE

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Write College Course Dean for catalog

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When examinations make you blue,

The College Inn is the place for you!

THE COLLEGE INN







Bard’s Eye View

The Compleynt of an Ousted Senior
or
© Is an old hoop stick all I mean
to you?

Specially contributed by
Anonymous, 50

We endure tne scornful stares

With which our superior wisdom
is met

We are quite ready to share

Our table with the rabble, and to
let

The Freshmen outstay us up late:
‘but the thing

Most excerable, insolent and gall-
ing

Is when they view our room—the
humble nook

Where dreams and hidden things
and an occasional book

Have lain, our sacred room with a
possessive look.

Oh! They will put the bed right
there, their curtains are too
short,

The walls will be the perfect color
for the picture of the fort

Is the closet roomy enough?
there matting on the chair?

They will change the window cush-
ion—just as soon as we’re not
there.

I will let them pity us when the
comprehensives come

I will let them steal away all my
special private stones

I will let them find the tower

Climb the trees, invade the bower

Ring the bell and tame the birds

But if they want to escape an

is



Philadelphia Inquirer, Flashlight Instrumental
In Discovering Bone Carrier of Wyndham Roof

’ Continued from Page 1

Undiscouraged however, I went to
another window; darkness and
void. But suddenly, just as I was
about to remove my nose from
the screen, there leapt up at me
out of the blackness a face! But
such a face as I have never seen
— pale and wild-and eerie! My
knees turned to water, and the
flashlight, shaken beyond endur-
ance in my trembling hand, went
out. After having yelled in panic
for (a) a friend to come and com-
fort me, and (b) another flash-
light, I felt somewhat fortified.

Somehow the flashlight got lit.
and slowly and hesitatingly I
shined it over the roof. The beam
crept down to the left and back
without exposing so much as a
bottle of suntan oil. But sudden-
ly, as the light began to spread to
the night, there surged up out of
the darkness, trembling with
righteous indignation, an enor-
mous and bristling raccoon. He
sat and looked at us vindictively,
and then, waving his tail, scooted



atrocious kind of doom
They’d better come to see ME
when they come into my room.





START SUMMER RIGHT
WITH A
CATALINA BATHING SUIT

poyce lewis









headfirst down a vine.

We almost collapsed! That it
was a raccoon who had been bring-
ing those bones up onto Wynd-
ham roof had never occurred to
us. That’s when the fun began.
Since then, our roof has been in-
vaded, at all hours of the day, by
men bent on catching the raccoon.
They set a trap for it two nights
ago, but the only thing that got
caught in it was me, and that
was quite by mistake. Last night
at dinner the maid came in and
solemnly announced that at 11:00
a man would be around to watch
for the “animal,” and at about
11:15 we heard gunshots in the
garden, but what happened nobody
knows. We are still waiting, never
knowing what new developments
each day will bring forth in the
mad adventures of Wyndham and
the raccoon.

ENGAGEMENT
Bebe Bordman, ’50 to Townsend

Scudder, Jr.



Compliments
of the
Haverford Pharmacy

Haverford























1930, Liocsrr & Myers Tosacco Co.



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STARRING IN

“GUILTY BYSTANDER”

A LAUREL FILMS, INC.

EDMUND L. DORFMAN PROD.
RELEASED BY FILM CLASSICS, INC,



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UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS