2

THE COLLEGE NEWS







_THE COLLEGE NEWS |

(Founded in 1914)



| WITS END



: es Bree COE ur ;
{

abled weekly. during the College .Year (excepting ri Thanksgiving,
Easter Holidays, and during examination weeks) in the interest of
Bryn Shree College at the Maguire Building, Wayne, Pa., and Bryn Mawr College.







The College Néws is fully protected by copyright. Nothing that appears in
it may be reprinted either wholly or in part, without written permission of the
Editor-in-Chief.



Copy Editor .
Nancy Hart, "34

| Sports Editor
SALLY Howe, "35

“Editor-in-Chief
SALLIE JONES, °34

News Editor
J. EvizapetH Hannan, "34

: Editors - :
. ELIZABETH MACKENZIE, °34 GERALDINE Rnoaps, °35
ee. _ Frances PorcHer, °36 , CoNSsTANCE ROBINSON, °34
a Frances’ VAN KEuREN, °35 Diana, TATE-SMITH, '35
. Subscription Manager ~ Business Manager g
DoroTHy KALBACH, °34 BarBaRA Lewis, °345
: . Assistant

MarGarReET BEROLZHEIMER, °*35 DorEEN Canapay, "36°



SUBSCRIPTION, $2.50 MAILING PRICE, $3.00
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Entered as second-class matter at he Wayne, Pa., Post Office



The Last Gasp
As we bend over our faithful typewriter for the last time of a
Monday morning we feel really quite sad about the passing of our
! glory and the coming of a new, and perhaps better, age. For two
_ years the present seniors on the board of the News have planned the
celebration which they would hold to commemorate the joyous moment

now that that time is upon us, we feel unaccountably unhappy about it
and the desire to sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death
of kings sweeps over us at frequent intervals. Whether or not the
readers of our noble paper will mourn our demise is a matter of opin-
“ion; if they do not we probably will not notice the omission as we will
be fully occupied in bemoaning it ourselves.
But,. while we are concerned with our memorial services, another
board will have stepped into our shoes, and the News.will have gone by,
another of the signposts on the road to journalistic immortality. The
9 fact which has always impressed us most strongly in connection with
the News is that, in spite of periodically changing boards, it comical
to maintain a certain continuity of character that survives the influence

- to maintain a eertain continuity of character. That this should be true
is an indication that the News belongs actually to the college as a whole
and not to that group. which happens to be in control at any given
moment. The assistance which the college can lend the editors by
their support is much greater than would be imagined at first glance.
No paper can long endure and prosper if its clientele is indifferent in
its attitude, or destructive in its criticism. The News depends almost
entirely upon the goodwill of its readers for its continued existence, and
for this reason the present editors wish to avail themselves of their last
editorial opportunity to thank the subscribers for their support in the
_ past, and to commend the News to their future attention.

The policies of the entering board may not be those of the deceased,
and the methods of enforcing an editorial policy upon the attention of
the public may not be the same, but the college may rest assured that
their interests are being left in safe and competent hands. The new
board will make every attempt to fulfill the specifications of the under-
graduates as regards the type of paper they want, and all they ask in
return is goodwill and a certain amount of co-operation during crises.

We have no desire to burst into editorial tears at this point, or to
indulge in a long harangue about the future that we hear lies before

us, or the past that we know lies behind us.
| about the character and the future of Bryn Mawr regularly every
_ Monday morning for two years and there are certain ends which we
j should like to see achieved within these ivied walls before we are plac-
ed firmly beneath the sod. As they demand slight explanation we will



witen they should no longer be the servants of public opinion. But, |

But, we have thought |

"RIDE THE FOUR HUNDRED
Perambulating quite de luxe
The puny little infant pukes
With blasé air upon his ride
Along the Hudson Riverside.
—Snoop-on-the-Loose.



Dear Mad-in-the-Hat,

My name is big chief~ Ink-on-the-
nose. I am American Indian. I am
the only co-ed in Bryn Mawr. . They
say I very fortunate. I do not know.
I know I frightened and lonely.

The other day I go to class. I get
as far as door and hear hiss. I run

'and hide behind pale-face squaw on

tree trunk. She very big with lumpy
hair—I think she have name Venus.
A big chief fuzz-in-the-face asks me
what.is trouble. I tell him about-hiss,
He grin and say it only thermostat.
I ask him what kind of snake is
that? He say it is not snake, but just
lot of hot air. .He open mouth and
laugh. I do not understand. :

Please forgive me much in writing
you. I have first idea of writing
squaw with name Dorothy Dix. But
a papoose, I mean say freshman, she
say she only write when she do some-
thing wrong. I have done nothing
wrong. I just sad man. None like
me. Big squaws tell me I have no
merits. I do not understand.

Humbly yours,
—A Blue Redskin.



MUSEUM FEET
O! painful aftermath
Of treading culture’s path!
O! let me make my moan
On museum floors of stone!

It is so hard upon the earth

To look at fragments on the march
(Whereas I like to gawp in zoos
Upon.-inhabitants in twos).

With no apologetic “buts”

I swear I haven’t got the guts

To walk so very, very far

To gaze upon minal objets d’art.
—Aesthete.



PHILOSOPHIC GEOMETRY
Fragment I:
It may be that I simply am
Without intellectual clarity,
‘But really I don’t give a damn
For the essence of triangularity.
Fragment II:
A square is a square and. always a
square
Be it non-existent here or there,
And it is what saved Descartes from
despair, .~..., ‘
Because through his doubting ra
trusted the square.
—Minor Philosopher.



RUS IN URBE

Come is the day of the double decker,

Swarming the genus rubbernecker,

| On the up and up in the upper half,

; Are a lot of people taking the gaff

Of the insane wind coming out of the

blue

That stretches above Fifth Avenue.

—Suburbite.



ROCKEFELLER RETURNS TO
THE DARK AGES



confine ourselves to listing them. We should like to see:
(1.) The bushes in front of the Library devoured by Japanese |
beetles before the horrifjed eyes of whoever is responsible for them.

a

(2.) Two vegetables at luncheon and dinner in the halls, instead |

Bs of some of the fantastic concoctions to which we are at present sub-
jected in the name of “a change.”

(3.) A system of marking whereby the disparity in marks so
noticeable at the last mid-year period might be eliminated.

(4.) A system whereby all marks should be known only to their
proud owner unless they were so good that she felt constrained to noise
them abroad, or unless they were so poor that she felt the need of
consoling herself by asking everyone else what the Gods had brought
them.

[ (5.)

eM

tthe only course taken by their sreduita: We have sear S thought that

-* if the professors did the work themselves at the same time that the
“students were doing if there would be fewer overworked undergradu-
ates: . :
(6.) A recognition by the resident undergraduates of certain
truths about “community living; (a.) The preferenee of a minority
-eannot be made the choice of the majority, 1. e., when three people
want to use the smoking room as a study and the rest of the hall wants
to use it as a lounge—it should be a lounge. (b.) The Library is the
logical place for those individuals to study who cannot bear the slight-
est noise in their vicinity while attempting to concentrate. (c¢c.) Bryn

is

Mawr i is slightly advanced socially over the ordinary prep-school and
' seems a shame that disciplinary measures long endeared to the hearts
| prep-school heads should have.to be instituted to keep the infants

_A system WwW wher eby the professors might be prevailed upon to

| Sh! Sh! We must not make a sound,

| Though twenty odd people are gath-
| ered around,

We must not make a sound.

Sh! Sh! Whisper if you must.

Although yéu are aching to stream
’til you bust,

Whisper if you must.

Sh! Sh! coming down the stair.
Take off your shoes for heels disturb
the air,
Coming down the stair.

|| The quiet ae is here,



Sh! Sh! The quiet hour is here.
It’s after ten-thirty, the warden’s
wrath we fear.

Ln

| Sh! Sh! pai going out from dinner.

Don’t stop to tell your best friend
she’s looking much thinnér,
When going out from dinner.

Sh! Sh! It’s, boarding-school again.
We thought we were twenty, but
we’ve found we’re only ten.
It’s ’s ‘boarding-school again.
—Grown Up.



Flotsam-jetsam has a very techni-
cal meaning which, no one knows but
such as are Marine Lawyers. When
a ship sinks and only when a ship
sinks and refuses to come to the top
again, flotsam and jetsam are pro-
duced, not both in the same way how-
ever. One is made in, one way and
one in a very different way. Flot-
sam is: more or less passive and jet-
sam as the name implies is active.

When the passengers of a boat see
the ship about to sink, naturally the
first thing they think of is how to

eep it above the water so they throw
out everything they can lay their
hands on in hope of saving them-
selves. In case they are disappointed
and sink, jetsam results and it comes
under the head of wreccum maris in
the-law--books..

But if the passengers decide that
they do not want to throw things
overboard, as someone might come
along and save them from their fate,
and then the ship. sinks with all
hands on board and cargo floats to
the top, that is flotsam.

Cheero—

THE MAD HATTER.



Scavenger Hunt Promises
~ Hilarious Evening for All



Scavenger hunts have been very
common throughout the nation of late,
but the Hunt promised for the Wed-
nesday after vacation will be of a
variety completely unknown to date.
There will be sweepstakes on the va-
rious teams of faculty and under-
graduates, a talk on Germany by Miss
Ely, unprecedented prizes for the vic-
tors, and plenty of refreshments to
top off an evening of sports.

Teams are forming all the time for
the big event: the Willing Wardens,
led by Miss Ferguson; Dr. Flex-
ner’s Bully Boys, and the Diez Dash-
aways. Numerous’ undergraduate
teams have also signed up with the
backers of the Hunt, Terry Smith and
Bunny Marsh.

The schedule for the evening is sim-
ple and should be very agreeable to
follow. The teams are to meet under
Pembroke Arch or in the vicinity if
things get crowded, and from there
proceed by car, bicycle, or foot to
scavenge. Having scavenged until
they are worn out, they may sink
then into a well-earned rest at Miss
Ely’s, where they will hear their host-
ess talk in her usually amusing fash-
ion as they are refreshed.

Everyone not in the infirmary or
otherwise incapacitated is urged to
appear on the scene Wednesday night,
April 4, and join in the fun. There
are certain small preliminaries nec-
essary, as the managers of the Hunt
wish to be notified of what teams are
entering so that they may make up
their book forthe sweepstakes. The
price for all this humor is only sev-
enty-five cents and you may: be able
to make it up if you bet wisely, so
don’t fail to make the small initial
investment.

Any further information may be ob-
tained from Smith or~Marsh, Pem-
broke West, who are running the
Hunt. :



seetion.

of the last.



in t hand so the grey beards can live in peace.

7, 2 A realization on the part of the undergraduates ‘that they
have come to Bryn Mawr to learn; and that there are many avenues to
knowledge open. to them other than those of the lecture room, and quiz

There are our dying wishes, and as we gaze at ies we are amazed
to see how completely they contradict all the deep-seated eas

which we held when we were freshmen.
upon us in earnest, and that being the fact we shall retire to our rheum-
atism, and ruminate on how the News was run in our day. Allow us
to commend it to you as an institution.worthy of your support, and
may we suggest that you hold none of the grudges against the. new
board which provided us all with so much amusement during the regime
The new board is composed of really charming people, and
if the subscribers do not succeed in ruining their dispositions before
they get started, all should go very well indeed.

Sea a

°

ns
It all goes to show that age is

ee 2



News of the New York Theatres

After the furore created by Fred
Astaire in Flying Down to Rio we
feel.that we should keep-his-collegiate
public informed of his life and hard

-times to the best of our ability, and

we offer as an opening’ wedge the
item that after the film was complet-

ed, and Fred saw it in a projection.

room, he was so horrified that he rais-
ed every cent he could find in the
world and tried to buy it from Metro-
Goldwyn-Mayer so he could tear it
into very small pieces and throw it
far away. He thought everything
about it was awful, and the sight of
himself going through the throes of

the numerous dances made him shud- .
der with apprehension for his. fu-

ture. Fortunately for the “Bryn
Mawr public, Metro liked it and re-
fused to part with it for- love or
money. Which all goes to show that
Fred Astaire is a modest, retiring
young man, and not in the least

aware of the fact that down on the .

Main Line there is a colony of young
women who Carioca to bed and to
breakfast. . Perhaps it’s just as well
that he doesn’t know about all this
liberal adapting of his medium to
the specifications of academic joints
and library muscles. The dear Bryn

Mawr girl as a type was never meant

to bloom.like an orchid in the. moon-
light, and no amount of torturous
winding..about. the campus _is going
to change the fact.

The present theatrical season is
more or less over as far as new plays
are concerned and the minds of most
of the producers are teeming. with
plans for the season to come. How-
ever, before we launch into the prom-
ises for next season, there are a few
things in the here and now that would
bear a little explanation. Charles
Dillingham held both, thumbs and
brought into town a revue in which
there was not one seasoned performer
nor one known librettist, scene de-
signer, or stage hand. The thing was
honestly called New Faces and every-
one went to work, and hoped every
night for five silent minutes before
rehearsal, that they would get through
the. opening chorus before all the
first nighters went home for their
sherry and biscuits taken after a par-
ticularly stiff dose. They saw their
prayers come true in a triumphant
manner, for they were all so enthusi-
astic about life and they played with
so much spirit and gave every estab-
lished: institution such a superior go-
ing over that the jaded older gen-
eration loved it. The audiencg all
passed out of the theatre murmpring
“Youth, youth, Ah, what a marvelous
thing is youth” and the show was
made.
about it like one talks about an in-
cubator baby—‘“marvelous what sei-
ence can do,” and all the rest of it.
As a matter of fact-the show is real-
ly very funny indeed, and done in ‘the
best blase manner which its children
can affect. They submit the bird to
the English Players by doing a scene
in which the diction and enunciation
are so perfect that no one word can
be understood; Nancy Hamilton does
a Katherine Hepburn, which amused
even Miss Hepburn, who sneaked
down from Olympus for the evening;
there is a lively song entitled J Hate
Spring, which shows you just how
startling. are the ideas of the flaming
post war theatrical generation, and,
all in all, for forty-three scenes
youth holds the stage and the old and
aged roar with pleasure to see the
little ones having wien a hell of a
time. .

The Group Theatre, which is the
proud parent of Men in White, is
opening Gentlewoman, a play by John
Howard Lawson, on Thursday, and
it should be very good indeed. Mr.
Lawson’s last play concerned a sacred
city in Thibet, and no one was at all
interested, so this year he has moved

York mansion of the vintage of 1934
and has created a love story that has
all the sophistication that he found
it impossible to put over in Thibet.

Stella Adler and Claudia Morgan are.

the two cheeriest souls in it — and

there is also Morfis Carnovsky. Mean-:

while, Men in White runs on, and the
cast has to find new ways of keeping
up interest in the thing after the two
hundred mark has flown past them.

On St. Patrick’s day they played the’

whole first act in Irish dialect and it
went over beautifully except that Ed-
ward Bromberg kept forgetting just
which dialect was his native one.

Beatrice Lillie is at present in Lon-
: (Continuea on Page Four)



All New York is talking -

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