Letter from M. Carey Thomas to Mary Elizabeth Garrett, March 08, 1891

Dearest Mary - to go on - Sara - but first do you not think that it would be sweet in you to write me (as I do you) one letter a week without med. or sch. details, just about yourself, just a little letter all of love and not a particoloured business affair. Well, Sara was divine, more splendid almost than I have ever seen her; the very serpent of old Nile the courtezan [sic] and she is always a courtezan [sic], in perfect splendour. I think I told you of my desire, granted once that I were a man, and a man fallen from grace, to have her once my mistress; well, the long act in the Egyptian palace where Anthony and she, in her diaphanous robe of course, lavish countless caresses upon one another entirely satisfied my desire. In other words it was for once, and for a little while, quite enough of that side of her and it was wonderful, wonderful. Her voice was ravishing, every posture a poem, Cleopatra was there, the dark woman of the sonnets, all the experience of evil that enabled Shakespeare to create her, all the centuries of oppression and enforced sensuality that go to make such a woman possible - all were there. Now let me try to tell you why things are as they are (and two new books a book on insanity of HarryGÇÖs and a scientific book Geddes and Thomson Evolution of Sex both of which I have read lately agree with Dr. Thomas in saying that ordinary marriage is as bad as any other form of grossest immorality) I think it is because mans [sic] imagination is bent on fostering and raising one instinct at the expense of all others - and why this being so does it do one good not harm to hear Tristram and Cleopatra? It is because, as Aristotle says of tragedy, seeing such emotions portrayed perfectly gives one delight, and mysteriously frees one from the desire of experiencing them. The terror of pity and fear more cand affect and yet leave no wish to imitate; so all the ebb and flow of TristramGÇÖs and [illegible]GÇÖs passion raises the rapture out of the earthly sphere and satisfies far more than any ordinary liason [sic] an otherwise unsatisfied desire for personal experience; and so on account of its artistic perfection does BernhardtGÇÖs portrayal of passion. Whereas Hardic and Juan in each others arms between moon rise and sunset on the beach seems to me morally far more to be objected to. It is raised by no splendour above the loves of the butler and the nursery maid, the ideal element is entirely wanting. It is like the ordinary marriage, the ordinary vulgarity of it and the ordinary man about town and his mistress and can be imitated by the honey moon, but of course on the honey moon, of the next married couple in ones acquaintance - but Tristram and Cleopatra are as unattainable as the Holy Ghost; and like cathedrals and temples and statues and pictures are ineffable, divine. Nothing seems to me very desirable that every one can have and I prize Tristram and Sara the more because I doubt whether to many people they are not Haidee and Juan. Possibly their vogue is due to this, but to me they are esoteric splendid and helpful. Do you not think so? Well I was very busy last week. I dined out twice and once as you see at Mr. LurnessGÇÖ - is his note not sweet? - and once at Mr. John B. GarrettGÇÖs and all my spare time has been spent in hunting for, telegraphing, and writing to, candidates for our different posts at Bryn Mawr and fussing about that miserable but nice school. I think perhaps I may go to Baltimore this Friday and Saturday (The Kendals are there). Then I shall not go till Easter Wednesday March 24 to April 1st. When are you coming home and shall you be in Baltimore at Easter? This year is a blank without Europe to look forward to. I did not know how it transformed the whole latter part of the year. To see nothing for two years, I think - and you I hope will see so much. Today in meeting (I mind going more and more) I thought I would elect to think of you and I abstracted my mind so successfully that although 4 sermons were preached, I heard no sentence. In consequence I am dying to ask you many questions - why did you, or did you not, do, or say, this, or that, or the other? You know how it is. By the way in my Keats (we are reading Keats now) I found the other day a sprig of campagna heather you gave me outside one of those buried tombs far out in the campagna and I later put it in your Keats that you had given me too and put them both indignantly away forever an ever, out of sight (and out of mind, I hoped) So it goes with our forever and evers. I have been working over Endymion with my graduates, and I wonder wonder [sic] at little that it and the Excusion should have been the only 2 poems over which I ever sat up all night. I was not 14 when I sobbed a sofa cushion wet over Endymion. It is entrancing and yet so deadly, deathly, sickly, sweet. I feel all is bad taste as I feel CarregioGÇÖs - But no one is like Shelley GÇ£Ah me, I am not there I am a part of theeGÇ¥ I feel when I read him and it is so with no one else. There are this Semester 76 in my general English and I think I am giving the course better than ever before. My graduate course is better too and this Summer I am going to try so hard to publish something. You see it is dreadful to feel so crowded for leisure. Since you left St. Serge is not even hung and I am only in the 4 B.A. of Homer. It is most fortunate you sent on Miss Child because almost half of every day now and for the first three weeks all day I have to keep her busy in med. sch. business - It is amazing how long my [illegible] takes. The wonder is not that so little but that so much is accomplished in the world. And now, dear Mary, to return from abstractions I do so hope you are better and I often look at the lounge and wish you were there for a little while and I shall hate to have you away for so long and yet I so want you to be strong. I wish you belonged enough to me for me to fill your thoughts with GÇ£all delicate things and pleasantGÇ¥ and happy and joyous things. Try to be happy. Goodnight and goodbye Lovingly yours Minnie C Th