Letter from M. Carey Thomas to Mary Elizabeth Garrett, April 15, 1893

Dearest Mary, Your letter this morning was such a comfort. I am so sorry you are so wretched. It is a disappointment you are so this time. Can it mean that the horrid treatment ought to be repeated. Ought you not to ask Dr. Cushier? You are to buy your clothes in New York of course foolishness and why cannot you buy them between the 1st and the 13th without coming back to Baltimore if we really do go the 13th. I think the New England trip would exhaust you. The St. HubertGÇÖs Inn sounds attractive for Aug Sept and Oct. or if too monotonous why not a cottage somewhere for Aug. Then perhaps I could join you the last week in Aug and the first week or two in Sept. After the 15th of Sept I must be on hand provided the new arrangement is made. I will find out on Monday about Islesboro. I could not well see David Scull before the Trustees meeting. Well I have so much to tell you - one of our cars broke down and our train was 1 hr late when telegraphed you from the station and mailed your letter there also at 8 P.M. After dinner I wrote to Dr. Rhoads with a special delivery to Atlantic City, telling him about the meeting and telling him that I regarded this proposition of President and Vice President as the last expiring effort of the anti-woman party and that although 2 months ago I might have consented I now should not consent to any such arrangement. I said I was now 36 years old and was unwilling to go on giving my life to a work that might be overturned at any moment by chance or the prejudice of a few members of the Board. I said that the same discussion would arise if he were to die, that as far as I was concerned the issue must be met now fairly. If the Trustees as a majority took the position that my being a woman made [me?] ineligible as President I must know it know now as in such a case I should give my energies to something else. Everything will now depend on Dr. RhoadsGÇÖ attitude. He is so easily confused and so far from clear-headed that I am afraid he may be over persuaded and low courage. But I hope not. Mamie whom I have seen this morning thinks I am rash and should accept the Vice Presidency in the confidence that I should be sure to win over those reluctant Trustees and be made president. She is dreadfully afraid we shall lose through what she calls my [GÇ£illegibleGÇ¥] And in one sense to lose would be dreadful for I am in debt $1000 apart from the $1900 which I owe Mamie which is covered by my life insurance which takes itself $200 yearly to keep it up and which runs for 3 more years before I receive the $2000 and Father would really not be able to give me much, even a few hundred without feeling the difference. He is anxious to give up practising as soon as he can afford it and talks now of giving up this house and taking a smaller one to be near Grace and Margaret if they would move too and to reduce things. Harry is still on his hands for certain experiences. But this money question seems to me so unimportant beside the waste of my life on an uncertainty - I am so sure I could soon support myself and do much more by writing etc than by building greater buildings on a foundation of sand. I could use up MamieGÇÖs Bonds or borrow from you for that matter I suppose (and if it were not for MamieGÇÖs and I my love for each other I need not say that it would be impossible that I should hesitate to let you help me) As I said before where so much has been taken and given it is impossible to feel that such things matter. From the first MamieGÇÖs and my things have been each otherGÇÖs and if it were not for this it would be the same way I think with yours. A rather one-sided bargain my dear, would it not have been? Even as it is the fact of your intimacy with Julia having ceased has made a difference such I could never have foreseen in my feelings about your doing things. You have seen it of course; it is difficult to conceal. I feel as if it were a rather foolish distinction without a difference to insist on paying my share of or rather a share of expenses when we are together. But it is on acct of that other thing being so. Altogether I hope you think my stand is right. I suppose I can compromise later but at present it is the only hope and I am most unwilling to compromise later. If it were not for Mamie and you I should not. Even if otherwise all were lost. Well after writing this and talking to Father it was 10:45 and I went to sleep in the room I had not seen since Feb 21st do you remember? Waked up at 3 and was awake till 6 thinking. I telephoned Mr. Gwinn about the B.M.S. and asked if I had better see Wise and Labrobe. He said by all means and at 11 Father took me in his carriage and we made a brilliant campaign 1st Wise whom I won over entirely. He said he would oppose it in Board of Education, advised letters to and pers. interview with Mr. Morris who does not return till 1st of May and a letter to Board of Education. Then we saw Labrobe for 1 hr. He was unutterable at first said he was determined to place the City College there, that our objection was folly and nonsense that Mr. Gilman whom he had consulted assure him there was no objection. I said Mr. Gilman knew nothing whatever about it that he had had no experience in managing a girls school and it came out that all Labrobes men were just like that. Finally I made him listen and he was I think impressed with the determined opposition he should meet. His tone changed he became explanatory etc. but nasty. Horner also we saw and I think he saw the grounds. Then I went to Gen. Agnus and explained the situation to him I told him we were in terrible trouble Father was a great help with him and he promised us to fight it to the bitter end. He called his city editor and GÇ£The AmericanGÇ¥ is for us. He told us to go to the other papers and get all engaged. The Sun City Editor was splendid after I had explained the facts. He promised to force Labrobe to yield and I am to send him all the facts tonight for MondayGÇÖs editorial and paper. The Evening News of course and to my amazement GÇ£The HeraldGÇ¥ all will attack that site. The Sun I am going to furnish with facts 1st bec. it is of course the most important. But I am really much encouraged. Father and I stopped to see Mr. Gwinn who was delighted. I am going to write to Dr. Hurd who has also told Labrobe there is no objection and Father is going to see Gilman who will of course be interviewed again. Are you not satisfied with the way I am GÇ£restingGÇ¥ today. Now here is dinner time and after dinner time my interview for the Sun which is however not to be an interview. The change of name for Fund has not come up in the Univ. Board. The Conf Com is to settle expenses between Univ. and Hospital. I will write details later. All the drs. Harry says are enthusiastic over it. Then after this arduous morning I drove out to Louden with Father and now must dress for dinner. Bessie is [illegible] with Mary. Our estimates for new hall were $5000 within my limit think of that. But it will not be voted till special meeting. Your letter tomorrow will be short I fear. My portfolio of letters is piled full and our exhibit is not yet off. What can I say except that I fear my affairs have kept you from being better. I wish you would not worry if it were possible. I hate you to live awake. Do you you get quiet at ten? Goodnight - I wish tonight were the 21st of Feb and yet I think I could not bear to live over these 7 weeks except 4 days.