Extract from Joel Bean Diary of 1880
Found at Swarthmore College, PA, F.H. Library June
24, 1998
By Tom M. King of San Jose, CA.
Location:
hidden in back pages of an occasional diary of 1876 are 11 pages dated
1880. Two small diaries are in the
1876-l880. Ser.2, archival storage folder of the Joel Bean collection. Both are designated RG 5. Ser 2. with
“Providence. R.I.” at Friends School on their paper covers. This one includes “Iowa
1880” below the 1876 entry.
10 Mo. 1.1876 Friends School is the last of infrequent entries
before:
===================== 1880
=====================
West Branch, Iowa 5 mo. 22.1880 (a brief entry)
7th mo.15.1880. Long intervals without record here, have been deeply
exercising & proving seasons, in our Meeting & Society.
Our
Preparative Meeting to day was a most trying one, in answering the
Queries. The Overseers referred in
the answers prepared by them to “innovations upon the
established usages of our Society” in our meetings for worship. This answer so simple & true, a
considerable number withstood. The
discussion & tone of remarks have left on my own mind a disheartening effect, which I have
rarely felt to the same degree. (next
page)
It is so evident that a portion of our meeting are determined to revolutionize
our mode of worship, insisting that singing in companies from singing books,
that unlimited liberty for reading the Bible by any as is now done by many who
incline to do so, are all in accord with Friends Principles, & original
practices.
I feel sad in thinking of the Mtg. & desire if
I took any wrong part, it may be shown me. And if I may peacefully retire from all this conflict
in defence of what is most precious in our heritage as a people, & may I
know it & never be found striving in my own will or armor.
(next page)
7th mo. 26.1880 The night was dark.
(continues with story of Christ on the water--2 pages)
(start next page)
8th mo.11.1880 The Q. M. is over, & the Strangers gone. Dr. Edw Young, Jossiah Moms & wife, Caleb Johnson & wife,
Barclay Jones, Reuben Hartley etc? were present with credentials. (Albert & Mary Tibbetts & Mary Ueader were present also without
certificates)
The Q. M. was not felt a refreshing
occasion by some. The appointed
Mtg at WB. (West Branch, Iowa) on 2nd day p.m. by Dr. Young & companions (J. Moms & wife)
was very satisfactory.
I attended the Mtg. of M. & E.
on 6th day, but was prevented by sickness from attending any of the other Mtgs. This on many accounts
was not unwelcome release.
The agitation by successive
comers of the distracting theme & the Scattering teaching which in the last
half year have cleft such rifts in
our meeting are painfully trying.
I have never
more felt the reality of what is indicated by the words, “For thy sake
are we killed all the day long; we
are accounted as Sheep for the
slaughter.” And at the same time the blessed Refuge of the sweet withdrawal to heavenly Rest have been
graciously permitted in a memorable degree.
When
bowed the lowest a message came from dear Peter Dyhr, that he dreamed in the night of seeing me Sitting in a low place, and
the Lord (Start next page)
said “Say to him, I am not only thy Creator, but thy Redeemer and
Savior (sic), & he that trusteth in Me shall never be
confounded.”
It came
to my heart as a word in Season, as has been the case on other
occasions, with the living messages thro this loved friend
We
have had precious visits from Joshua & Marie Hooper, John & Abby Ivy,
Mary Meader, Dr. Young & J. Morris & wife & others.
Dear Albert & Mary are
remaining to visit here & at Bro James’s (BEAN).
(Top
of next page)
How
I long to be kept in the Refuge, where no strife of_______________? (torpuce.?)
nor any thing shall prevail to betray me into wrong speaking or wrong
feeling.
(Start
next page)
6th
mo. 5. 1881
At
home (West Branch, Iowa?)
Permitted to remain alone
while the others are gone to meeting and to feel in right today, weary &
worn with the strifes and
pursuings of many who have
risen up against me , to Enjoy
worship apart from others in
spirit and in truth.
My soul has been
Exercised and honed forth in prayer to My Father in Heaven, that I might come
to His Throne of Grace, & close to His Mercy Seat, where in the light of
His countenance I might see myself & my need truly. I could in all sincerity ask that if I
am self deceived, or deceived
(Start
next page)
by
any means, the illusion might be dispelled and that the Lord would deal with me
on the utmost severity of His love and show me if in anything I am
building or holding myself up in what is wrong.
Then did I wait
for Him to answer my prayer: that
I might know how I stand before God. Sweetly than cam an assurance like this. “Thy sins are
all washed away. The Accuser is
cast out. No accusation stands
against thee.” And the words of love & promise were
poured into my soul - - “I have called thee by thy name. Thou art mine!
I will be with thee, and cover thy head in the day of
battle.” “Give
thyself to me, & I will care for Thee.
(Start
last page)
“Fear
not, I am with thee. Be not
dismayed for I am thy God.”
I have bathed
in a sense of the Goodness, the faithfulness & love of my Savior, who has
long led me & fed me unto this day, and granted graciously this
sensible token of His presence & care, for my refreshment and help in this
time of need.
Keep me, oh my Father,
and may all that is within me bless Thy holy (sic) Name, and praise Thee
forever & ever. J.B.
===============End
of 1880 Joel Bean Diary ==============
Joel Bean’s 1880 Diary was copied into the
Mackintosh Computer on Microsoft Word 4.0. June 24, 1998 at Swarthmore College Friends Historical
Library by
Tom M. King
393 Rutland Ave,
San Jose, CA 95128.
PHONE (408) 286-7157
or
E-Mail thom.king@pieinc.org.