. Page Twelve Friday, May 6, 1966 THE HAVERFORD NEWS - THE COLLEGE NEWS From This Side of Paradise. ~~ Hap ‘¢,.. but all study and no play makes Joe a dull boy, right?” The man b the desk gives a quick, un-dull- boy. chuckle and you look shyly down at your freshly io, we allow girls in the rooms until incredible “hours. And ... Bryn Mawr is within walking distance!” This is the clincher and as he says it the admissions “man spreads his hands palms up on the desk and gives you . a worldly man-to-man smile, So come April of your senior year as you sit clutching a gaggle of acceptances, that sentence floats back into your mind. And with Spring all around and visions of Seven Sisters dancing in your head you send Princeton (‘‘so isolated’’) et. al.fluttering off in the wind and op for Haverford. It was our third day on campus and already we felt strange glandular stirrings. No one had so much as mentioned Bryn Mawr and the only females we had seen spoke a strange tongue except to occasionally cry, ‘‘Boy ~= come make-e bed, boy’ at insane hours in the m g. Finally in the middle, of the quad we burst out: ‘So what’s the scene with these Bryn Mawr girls. Are adhey really speeds? I mean, where are they?’ Jack Suave emerged from the pup tent thathe had been forced to occupy because of the room shortage. ‘J have been here for four years now and you could take all the fun I’ve had with Bryn Mawr girls and put it in a gnat’s navel and have room for three caraway seeds and the brain of ial Committee Chairman.’? - He clapped his hands an oli inned maiden emerged from the tent bearing a breakfast tray. A Toga Party ‘¢Smith ’66 and a divine cook,’”’ he said. After two weeks it started to look bad, But we were sure that nice fellow in the admissions office hadn’t fibbed, Finally we found Bryn Mawr-Haverford social life at a Roman style gathering presided over by a Latin scholar with a slight Boston accent. There they were- through the smoke of the apartment--Bryn Mawr and Haverford talking, dancing, touching. We edged over to a straight-haired girl who sat gazing intently into a dixie cup of scotch. ‘‘Do you come to these things often?’’ we asked. ‘Yes, I find the sub-mating rituals of the American adolescent fascinating. Don’t you??? ’ Not long after came our first Bryn Mawr date. One of the most telling experiences with Bryn Mawr is calling a dorm. At some, a spritely voice answers and when you ask for a girl a chorus of excited squeals echoes down the corridor until finally a friendly voice answers, pleasantly out of breath. At Rhoads, however, a sultry voice answers with a tinge of ennui, You give the girl’s name and in the back- ground a voice says, **Is Rosalind back from Princeton yet? ' ¢¢,., She must be, it’s been almost a week now.”’ ‘eWell,’ this call puts her into the lead for the weekly pool with forty-six.” We planned that first date with care. We decided shrewdly that those Bryn Mawr girls are probably tired of big evenings. For a switch we’ll just catch the film at Roberts and go back to the room to talk. We arrived in coat and tie and were immediately mistaken for an FBI agent. ‘‘Cover the flower boxes!’’ someone yelled. We were ushered into the room, where the two room- mates looked us over. They had a clever code for telling the girl dressing what to wear. It consists of shouting in a loud voice, ‘*Why, you’re wearing a tie.”’ Sitting in the room after the film, we tried to explain that we had not realized that it was going to be ‘‘that kind of film.’ Suddenly we froze, Tht$ was not:a dizzy debu- tante, a junior college party girl. No, this was a Bryn Mawr girl, a girl of the stiffest intellectual fibre, who ’ ¢¢As she continues through the four undergraduate years, should begin to know the personal satisfactions and re- wards that are the common heritage of scholars.’”’ The M. Carey Thomas. slogan floated through our mind, ‘Only our failures only marry ...’’ What else did they do, we wondered. The Prep Approach But all was not lost. We immediately launched into the old cheese and wine play.’She started*to: say something about the. German novella and we quickly countered with Scott Fitzgerald. *¢Have. you ever studied the French Bourbons? They have a fascinating history.’’ ‘Really? I thought they were all distilled in Kentucky.”’ Gradually, you pick up the tricks of the trade. One of the most useful is the ‘‘I hear the food at Bryn Mawr is great’? ploy, This is accompanied by a look of acute malnutrition and a series of shuffling hand gestures to indicate that you are a compulsive bridge player. With luck this will garner you an invite to dinner. The girls do not rap on the table when you enter but occasionally there is a stage whisper, ‘‘who in the world is he?’ and a chorus of derisive giggles. Until you get accustomed to it their quaint habit of jumping to their feet and bellowing announcements in unison can be unnerving. After dinner the girls don green eyeshades and you are asked to par- ticipate in some of the most cut-throat bridge in the world, Unless you truly love the game your best bet here is the ‘¢you all play Cuban System, of course’ play followed by rapid suggestions of Go Fish, Slap Jack, and Acey- Ducey. Best of all Bryn Mawr - Haverford social functions, of course, is the mixer. Here, with expert use of the elbows, you can execute several smooth maneuvers, It is a good idea to fill your pockets with cookies. They are usually the best thing at the mixer and enable you to use the famous ‘‘Have a cookie’? move. The idea here is to stick the cookie into the chosen girl’s mouth before she can say a word and then lead her choking onto the dance floor. By the time she can speak, her fiance’ will have returned to find the girl gone and depart in a funk. Across from the Pem East mixer at the foot of the stairs stood a girl in a tee shirt that said, ‘‘Moon- Equipped.”’ We straightened our tie. What do you like best about Haverford?’’ we asked confidently. : ‘‘Well, my favorite young man goes to Princeton. You know what they say - Princeton men and Haverford boys,”’ Immediately the girls on the stairs began to hum ‘‘Old Nassau.’”? We asked the Burns guard sitting inthe corner about Bryn Mawr-Haverford relations. The Proven Way ‘Nothing to worry about,’’ he said. ‘‘I just generally keep an eye out ... Most of the guys don’t know it -- but we’re armed.’’ He patted his hip. We began to get advice from all sides. One successful Haverford senior headed for Harvard Law next year con- fided, ‘'The thing is, you’ve got to be low key. You goina dorm and if you see a girl you like, you say, ‘‘I mean would you like to have a cuppa coffee or something, per- haps??’ Another successful senior in blue jeans, wire rims, and five o’clock shadow, told us, “Get rid of those grey flannels, ditch the weejuns, ge yourself a lumberjack shirt.” We tried it, but Denbigh was the wrong place. The girl in the Bergdorf Goodman dress looked at us in horror. We mumbled something about a cup of coffee. “]’m sorry,’ she said, ‘‘I haven’t a cent with me, but they may be able to give you something in the kitchen.”® Your first Haverford dance can be a disturbing experi- ence. When you walk in and find that the band outnumbers the guests you should promptly swing into the ‘‘Well, small, room parties are really more fun, don’t you think??? gambit. The experienced Bryn Mawr girl will nod slightly. Now you must immediately follow this up with ‘‘Joe said that a few people might come over.’? You fully expect no less than fifty swingers tobe jammed into Joe’s suite, but it is best not to arouse her hopes unduly. Should Joe have finked out, and this does happen, then you will be set for Haverford’s only indigenous social activity -- ‘‘checking out the action at .? As you slip from New Dorm to Barclay basement to the cricket house you must keep up a steady stream of uproarious comment so that your date may not notice that she is spending the night hiking. If, however, she starts to lag behind you can resort to the time-tested ‘‘Shall we catch our breath a moment under that tree’? play. This must be done with care however for rather than quickening her step aBryn Mawr girl will occasionally accept. This can be the most disturbing experience of all. Should you then begin the renowned ‘‘You’re very pretty Jr ess -Is a Warm Bryn Mawr Girl for a Bryn Mawr girl’? ploy with accompanying advancing movements, you are doomed, Bryn Mawr girls are past masters of the ‘‘Do you have a cigarette ... a stick of gum, then’? defense. Others mention a slight case of trench mouth while psych majors generally look you in the eye and say ‘‘Have you ever stopped to think why you want to do that?” If, however, Joe has come through you will find the well known ‘Frank Fortis’ party, named after the gallant young man crushed to death at one particular lively affair in a New Dorm single. The important thing to do here: is learn to recognize your date by your sense of ‘Well, my favorite young man goes to Princeton...’ touch for the cigarette smoke will soon obscure her from sight. One goateedstudent who looked faintly like Alfred Drake explained the procedure: ‘¢The way to a Bryn Mawr girl’sheartis with a glass.” Shut Up and Deal “Do you like gin??? we asked a likely looking girl. ‘*T’d love to play a few hands.’’ she replied. ‘¢Blue-what! music?’ the girl shrilled, ‘‘No, I’m sorry I never go out with Haverford boys,’’ said the blonde Denbigh sophomore who looked as if she might have come from a small New Hampshire town. We asked why. ‘¢You go out with a Haverford boy andthe next morning. the whole campus knows every initmate detail.”” We beat a hasty retreat with cries of ‘‘Kiss and tell’’ ringing in our ears, Outside a statuesque girl inadenim work shirt slinked by. . ‘*What is it about Bryn Mawr-Haverford social con- tact??? we asked in desperation. **It?s all wet,” the Merion junior said moodily. The major hurdle facing the prospective social gad- about is the competition for bids from the two eating clubs -- Tenth and Comet. A senior reminiscent of an Italian screen star super- vises the rushing for Tenth. Once in it is important to be handy with the darts and a slight brogue is useful. The competition for Bryn Mawr girls is fierce with a group of fortyish ex-Mainline playboys dorfinating the field. If you go Comet it is imperative to develop a smooth ‘‘There’s nothing like a hamburger, afterall.’’ Status comes when Paul and Charlie‘ask if you are having ‘“