It was I who packed Queen Bess into her litter,
It took me all my time to make it fit ’er;

I told her when to bow
And what to do and how,

For in those robes she was an awkward critter.

I showed the Dragon how to hold his tail,

I wrought George of Merrie England’s coat of mail;
The lines of Quince and Bottom
I and Sammy Arthur taught ’em,

My method has been never known to fail.

 

20

I grieved to see the students grow-
ing thinner,
I arranged for them a more sub-
stantial dinner;
I promised each Professor
If he made assignments lesser
I would see that his court-costume
was a winner.

I directed Mrs. Collins in Public-
ty,
We worked out every detail most
explicitly ;
I posted police pickets,
I raised the price of tickets
And chairmanned all committees
with felicity.

You say it must have been a dread-
ful strain?
O no, I’d do it gladly all again,
For there’s nothing much to plan-
ning
Except soothing Mrs. Manning,
When she has a spell of thinking it
will rain.