THE MAY DAILY

WEATHER—RAIN

TIME OF NEXT PUBLICATION—DOUBTFUL

 

Model Sacrifices
Wealth To Love

Obscure painter conquers mili-
tary magnate in young girl’s
thoughts.

In a special interview to the
“May Daily’, Miss Campaspe,
alleged wife of Apelles, is quoted
as saying, “After all, love is
enough. I thought I could live
with Alexander until he tried to
paint my portrait. This made
me realize that I had never loved
him. Then Apelles kissed me,
and my soul awoke.”

Sir Oliver Lodge Condemns
“Qld Wives’ Tale”

Sir Oliver Lodge confided to
the May Daily his belief that
“Old Wives’ Tale” is psychically
untrue. ‘I believe it impossi-
ble,” he said, “for spirits so long
poured out of this earthly bottle
to have the strength to kill any-

 

one. There is only one possible
solution, i.e. that Sacrapant was

already half seas over.”

“Tt Will Be a Success,”
Says Mr. King

Producer gives optimistic opinion

 

 

 

Mr. S. A. King, director and
producer, leapt out of bed this
morning exclaiming, “It will be
a success!’’ The words were
echoed around the campus by
hundreds of glad voices, for the
oracle had spoken; there could
be no further doubt. It is well
known that without the inval-
uable assistance of Mr. Samuel
Arthur King, May Day could

never have been achieved.
Adv.

 

Divorce Hinted At As Result
of Midsummer Night

 

It is whispered through Fairy-
land that a disagreement has
arisen between a couple in ex-
alted circles. Mrs. X. refused
to be interviewed concerning the
man in the case, but her small
representative remarked in a
ringing voice, ‘‘My mistress is
charmed by him.”

Mr. X., when
about the co-respondent, is re-
ported to have said, “He is a

questioned

perfect ass.’

St. George and the Dragon
Given With Helpful Co-operation

 

Influence of Russian Players felt

The old English play of St.
George was rendered with unique
spirit. The players forgot them-
selves and consequently the
audience will never forget them.
St. George's lines were beauti-
fully pronounced by Wing Alfred,
and his in turn by the noble
Doctor, while the cursed Dragon
in spite of his sore throat roared
a hearty accompaniment.

 

 

 

Question of Jail in Students’
Building Mooted

 

The recent prevalence of
undesirable vagrants,
dancing bears, jugglers, strolling
singers, worms, etc., has raised
the question of whether or not
to put a jail in the new Student’s
Building. An eminent authori-
ty is said to find in the presence
of so many traffic disturbances
an argument for his immigration
bill.

such as

 

W. C. T. U. Files Protests
Against Bacchantes

 

Sealed hearing to take place

“You are corrupting the mind
of innocent American youth!”
they cry. “You are sowing
seeds the roots of which will
make St. Volstead turn in his
grave.’ They are also reported
to have seen in the union of
Indians and Bacchantes the
future abolition of all intoxicat-
ing tobaccos. A sealed hearing
is to take place at some future
date somewhere.

“Marion, You'll Soon
Be Marryin’ Me”

Idyllic union predicted

 

 

When ye stalwart knight
Robin Hood wooed ye mayde
Marian ye skies smiled and ye

trees whispered behind their
leaves. Ye noble King Fichard

blessed ye fair mayde and
ye MAY DAILY predicts an
union soone.
Only one criticism heard
The only criticism expressed
on this occasion was that of Max
Reinhart who is said to have

 

muttered, ‘Too much _horse-
play.” Jealous, no doubt.
WANTED

1000 old scissors, knives, broom-
handles, etc. Apply to any
stage manager.

SAFETY PINS by owners of
costumes.

COMPETENT INDIVIDUAL,
Protestant, refined, not over
thirty-five, to make two hun-
dred and eighty paper flowers
for prominent actress.

MORE CUTS by Casting Com-
mittee, Inc.

NINE SETS of RED FLAN-
NEL UNDERWEAR © by
Flowers.

ONE DOZEN BEARDS, pre-
ferably tawny, to make Faculty
look “just like men.”